To be a mother of perfect love

This is a picture of my mom, my daughter, her daughter and myself, sharing 4 generations of perfect love.




To be a mother...a good mother, is the desire of my heart. From the first moments of knowing that I was going to be a mom, this has been my goal. I was scared to death. I had no idea how I was going to do it but I knew that I would not settle for anything less than being a good mom, so I read many books and I talked to a lot of moms. It didn't take me long to realize that being a mom was the most wonderful, but the hardest and dirtiest job I would ever do. It also didn't take me long to realize that no matter how many books I read on motherhood that there are many things that books don't tell you and that there is nothing that prepares you for this amazing task.

I have worked hard at being the best mom that I can be...to love my children was easy...to raise them to know that I love them no matter what. The hard part was knowing that I didn't have all the answers and that in spite of how much I loved them so perfectly, I would in fact let them down. Being a mom has made me appreciate my own mother...every day I realize all the heartache and love that went into raising me and that she did the best that she knew how to do. No, she was not perfect...yes, she let me down and failed at times...this is where forgiveness and grace comes in...and learning from her mistakes and learning that there is no such thing as a perfect mother. Accepting this fact has not always been easy for me...letting go of that ideal is something that I have learned the hard way. No, I have not been the perfect mother...yes, I failed my children...in fact I have fallen short time and time again. I have needed more grace and forgiveness from my children than from any other people. No matter how many mistakes I have made with my children, I have loved them perfectly, just as my mother perfectly loved me.

Now I am privileged to watch my own daughters become mothers. What an amazing thing to see...to watch them become the moms that they are. They too, love their children perfectly...they too strive to be good moms. They too, will fall short, make mistakes and they like myself and my own mom will learn the beauty in forgiveness and grace that comes from your children. They are learning that motherhood is not an easy job and that no matter how much you love your children perfectly, that there is no such thing as a perfect mother.

I will do many things in my life but being a mom is what I have done best.