Thank you for the birthday wishes! My daughter is a big stinker as she knows that I not only struggle with being the center of attention but I like to have my birthday come and go without much notice. Not sure why but I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. Anyways…I survived it and your birthday wishes and her intent were sweet.
It has taken me forever to get here. Again. I miss all of you terribly. I do stop by your places on occasion but it is rare that I have the time, energy & the hands to comment since when I sit down a child seems to find their way onto my lap.
I keep searching for quiet moments but they are so few and far between unless I stay up late at night, like tonight. But God help me tomorrow morning when little man wakes me before it’s barely light out, just to say “good morning and I love you.”
I seriously wonder why I can’t keep up. It’s like I am constantly busy, needed or just can’t say no to reading a story or whatever it is I’m being asked to do with the little’s or my sweet grandson. I see how many of you write beautifully and often and manage to still live your lives. You amaze me!
As much as I crave the connections I have found in this great place of blogmanity, I am considering shutting my blog down. At the thought of stopping all of this, I want to cry. I am giving it some time, since it is summer. And to think I had considered starting a cooking blog to record the experiences of cooking with the little’s (Rachel Ray & Emeril). After doing lots of cooking/baking with them today, I jokingly told them that we should have a blog called “Our messy kitchen”, to which little man said, “That would be a perfect name since our kitchen is so messy!”
Oh yes, with their help it is very messy but I wouldn’t want it any other way. :)
My granddaughter and youngest son that were here visiting from Florida, left a week ago yesterday. After 5 weeks with her and 4 weeks with him, my home feels empty without them. My heart still aches to hug them, cook them their favorites foods and to hear and see their smiles/laughter. It makes me miss my daughters that were unable to come home this year.
Yes, I know this is the way it is suppose to be. I know I am the one that gave them their wings. But, it doesn’t mean that I have to like that they flew so far away.
In my granddaughters words,” I had the summer of my life. Everything about it was perfect.” And it was except for it coming to an end.
In other news…my husband and I are working towards me quitting my outside job and just being at home. Changes are happening for my daughter who has been caring for them while I work, which means we would need to find other daycare. The cost of daycare for 2 children is not cheap and combined with driving costs, it really cuts down my income.
I never thought in a thousand years that I would be trying to figure out things like daycare or whether to send little man to kindergarten or not. Little lady will turn 4 next Wednesday, which means we have had them that long. We always say she was our wedding present. When she hears this, she beams at knowing she is so special.
The little’s would more than love to have me home all of the time and I would love the opportunity to keep up with them and everything here at home. Yet, my heart is torn because I love my job. I love the woman I care for.
My health is slowly getting better. I think. I am still pretty tired but not as much. The pain is still my constant friend and even though I won a court battle a couple of months ago in favor of my continued care for my injuries, it seems this battle will continue on as I have another court hearing scheduled for September. I do not want any more surgeries and the drugs for pain are a thing of the past. My doctor is presently fighting for me to get acupuncture since it did help me when I was in the hospital 6 years ago. I am not holding my breathe. :)
Life is sure something. Just when you think you got it all down, something changes. You have a choice to go with the flow or try to fight your way back up stream. I am choosing to go with the flow.
Until next time (whenever that may be), love & hugs, Lori
PS I just looked at the clock and it read 12:07 AM…still, I cherish this moment of peace & quiet and getting to write.