It seems like just yesterday that he was this young boy with the great big smile, who was always getting hurt. Now he is a man with a great big smile, who still gets hurts! Sometimes I forget that I did not physically give birth to him...yes, I gave birth to him in my heart and it feels like he has always been here. He has another mother that lives in heaven and I vowed to her and to God that I would love him like a son and treat him as such. It has been easy to keep that vow. I don't look at him any differently then the children I gave birth to, so it is easy for me to forget that he did not come from my body...in fact he doesn't have an ounce of my blood in him.
I was reminded of our story...our history, on Monday, when one of my former students(Moms) stopped by to see me along with her little girl. This young woman knows my son and didn't know that he wasn't my son by blood until very recently. She was shocked because of how much she thinks he looks like me and my other children, especially my middle daughter. She asked me about this in front of some of the moms that were in the room and they all began to praise me for what I did in taking him to raise. This is exactly why I don't tell people. I don't want people to think I am so wonderful for doing this. I am the one that is blessed here with a son that came to me out of tragedy and became an unexpected gift to me.
I did not take him as a son because I felt sorry for him. I took him as my son because I felt God calling me to do this. I lost two children to stillbirths and I told him when I first got him that his mom was up in heaven rocking my babies for me and that I was here to love and care for him here on earth for her. I truly felt Gods hand on us. Taking him felt so right... so perfect...he seemed like the child I had been waiting for.
In my mind he is my son and those that know how that came to be, know that I hate explaining the story and don't want people to look at him any differently then they do the ones I gave birth to. It was painful to go through the process of grieving with him over his many losses. He suffered more loss in his young life then most do in a life time. God was good to us...he did much healing and with the love of those around him he became such a part of our family that not one of us look at him as if he wasn't born into our family. I did not do this alone. It was a family thing...his three sisters and brother had a very big hand in this...we couldn't have done this without them.
I have been blessed over and over by this precious son of mine...my special gift sent to me from heaven. He is an extrodinary man of character. He is everything I could hope for in a son. He is an example for his younger brother. He is such a great uncle to his two neices and 2 nephews...some day he will make a great father to his own children.
My son is living proof that good can come out of tragedy and that life can continue after the storm. He is living proof that God can work miracles of healing in those that have suffered great loss. He is my proof that gifts and children come in all different ways. He has taught me many lessons along this journey that I will never lose sight of. He is my reminder that life is precious and that we need to hold on tightly to those we love, because each day is a gift with them.
Thank you dear son, for all the years of love you have given me...for being so good to me...for allowing me to be your mom here on earth. Your mom and dad in heaven are so proud of you and the fine man that you are...you are my special gift. I love you!
No comments:
Post a Comment