In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Man interuption

I have been thinking about where to start with my story. If I started from the beginning of my life it would take way too long. I figure, over time, bits and peices from way back when will come out, here and there. So, I thought I would start out talking about my husband...the love of my life, since he is the greatest interuption of my life. Before my husband came into my life, I had failed miserably at two marriages, mainly because I was in them for all the wrong reasons and basically most of my relationships with men were unhealthy. I have always gotten along great with guys as friends. In fact, I would say at most times in my life, my best friends have been guys and it drove them crazy that I was stupid when it came to love. Take it any further and I lost my brains. Plain and simple, I suck in the man department...until now of course.

To make a long story short (is there such a thing?)I had finally had enough of the crap in my life and so made the decision to stop dating all together and just took the time to soul search,to be alone with myself and actually got to liking it and was okay just being alone, got to know myself and started to love myself for the first time ever. This was a major life interuption for me because I had never been alone...sure I still had my kids but I was alone with myself and I was happy. During this time I made the vow to myself that I would no longer settle for anything less then the best and that never, ever would I marry for any other reason then finding the love of my life.

I did not go out looking for found me all on its own and when I least expected it. I truely believe it found me because I had found myself first. I knew my husband from a distance...his brother was married to one of my best friends. I was in his brothers & my friends wedding years ago and I never saw him again until years later since he lived out of state. About two and a half years ago while I was out with his brother and my friend, he showed up at where we were was not set up or planned...that night we had a blast just dancing and was great fun but I didn't let myself think anything other than the fact that I thought he was a nice guy and that I hoped he would call me but if he didn't that would be okay too...he did call of a very short time, we both knew that we had found what we were looking for in each other...7 months later we got married. In July, we will be married two years.

I waited my whole life for this man. He is amazing. I never dreamed being married could be like this. He is my partner, my best friend, my companion, and he loves me so wonderfully...he makes me feel beautiful...he sees things in me that I can't see...he believes in me and he never ever gives up on me...he makes me feel like I can do anything. He loves and accepts me for who I am and never ever once has he tried to change me...he encourages and supports me. He is gentle and soft and yet strong...I always feel safe and protected with him. I love how he can make me laugh and smile every of the things I can count on with him is that I know we will laugh together, no matter how tough it gets some days. What makes him so perfect is that he isn't perfect and doesn't think he's perfect either...which gives me permission to be human. I love this man with all my heart, soul and mind.

I am so thankful that he interupted my sebatical from men. In turn, I am thankful for the interuption called a sabatical, to search my soul. I am so glad that I took the time for myself so that he could find me...and me him. Honestly, I don't think I would have found him, if I hadn't taken the time to learn to love work through more of my junk, so that I could get that junk out of the way. I had no idea that so many things were standing in my way of real love until I was standing on the other side, looking back. Now that real love lives with me daily, I do not take it for granted...I hang onto it and cherish it for what it is...a constant precious gift.

1 comment:

Zella said...

Hi Lori - I know this post is an old one, but I wanted to start reading your blog from the beginning -- and this post was a good read, especially after what I wrote myself in my blog (thanks for your comments, I loved your response)'ve given me a bit of perspective, and maybe even a tiny bit of hope for myself :) Thank you