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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Interviewed by the Queen

Last week, while blog reading under the influence of some great wine…(which was partly due to the “whine” I had endured all day.)I agreed to be interviewed by the Queen.
The Queen of Phrump that is. As I awaited my questions from the Queen, I started getting a little nervous about what kinds of questions she would ask me. You never know what kinds of things a Queen will want to know.

The Queen informed me that I am a Wife Swap Applicant, simply because the Queen could use a little get away! I have seen very little of the show, Wife Swap, but what I have seen, has been pretty crazy…but, if it means that I get to leave this horrible cold and snow and go to where the Queen lives, which by the way, is where it is not cold and there is no snow…I’m getting the better end of the stick, unless of course, she likes sub zero temperatures, and shoveling. I will do my best to answer the questions right, so that I can be on my way to some fun in the sun!

The Queen asks “When you arrive here what is the first thing you plan to inspect?”

It is a toss between the kitchen(because I have a thing for kitchens) and the pool…I think I remember you saying you had a pool? And since I would be escaping the cold and snow, I think I would have to inspect this first. Of course, to lounge around in while Stinky is sleeping. If Stinky likes the water, we will also have some water fun. Snoball will be in the pool with me, teaching me how to swim…just kidding, I know how to swim. It will be called Swimming 101...for the home schooling part. Are pool parties allowed? Of course, the parties would be after Stinky and Snoball are in bed.

The Queen asks “ Name 6 things I should stock in the pantry for you.”

It depends on whether you have a separate, fully stocked, liquor cabinet or not. If you don’t, then I would want wine, tequila, tequila mix, tequila salt, limes, and corona. If you do, then I would want chips, guacamole, salsa, hummus, pita bread, and cheese.

The Queen asks “When I arrive at your home what is the first thing I will notice?”

The first thing you will notice when you drive up to my home is all the snow. You might even swear in your exclamation over this fact. I will even warn you to brace yourself for the words that may come out of your mouth, the moment you step out of your nice warm car, into the nice cold air. The first thing you will notice when you walk inside my home are a combination of children running at you, noise from the excited children, toys on the floor(because that’s how I decorate!) and lots of pictures(photo‘s) around the room.

The Queen asks “Does your husband have any housekeeping pet peeves I should know about?”

Actually, he doesn't really have any, other then taking his plate or putting his drink glass(especially if it’s his vodka tonic) away before he is finished. Oh and maybe toys being everywhere…at least where he keeps tripping over them. Other than that, he’s easy to please. Really. Piece of cake.

The Queen asks “If I don’t get to the laundry will you do it for me? It could be a couple of weeks worth.”

Oh sure, why are the Queen and all…as long as I don’t have to iron. Maybe, Snoball and I could work on that for home economics class…oh wait, they don’t call it that anymore…

The Queen asks “Does your house, itself, have any special instructions?”

The basement is cold during the winter, so plan on lots of blankets and sleeping on a heated mattress pad. The house is not very sound proof, so if you choose to sleep downstairs it will sound like a herd of elephants when the children are awake, upstairs…and also if you want to have a private conversation, you might want to take it outside, otherwise, everyone will hear it. The house is drafty, so you might want to bring sweaters, sweatshirts, warm socks and slippers to wear…maybe even some long underwear. You will be cold, so the temperature gauge is in the hallway on the main floor. My husband may or may not keep turning it down, should you turn it up, but I say go for it, since you’re the Queen and all!

My dear Queen of Phrump, I hope my answers to this application, meet to your approval. I will await your decision and just in case, I will begin to pack my bags.

If you would like to join in this fun please let me know. I promise to be nice!

The Rules...
Leave me a comment saying: interview me
I will e-mail you five questions.
You can then answer the questions on your blog.
You should also post these rules along with an offer to interview anyone else wanting to be interviewed.
Anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog.
Most of all, have fun!


sandi said...

TOO FUN! I don't think any sane person would swap homes with me. I have 14 children, 2 dogs and a very needy man. If someone did want to swap me, I would question their intelligence, and not feel so sure of leaving the 'crazy' alone with my husband and kids.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I would never want to go on wife swap for real. They always try to pair people with their polar opposites and I think I'd be afraid to find out what that was.

I enjoyed your answers, especially the pantry items ; -)

I can play the game if you would want to interview me, but I can be really slow in getting to postings stuff. I'm bad like that.

Midlife Slices said...

OH that was a great interview and your answers made me feel like I was right at home with you. Glad I didn't miss this. :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

How great. I love your pantry are so funny.
I am too afraid to be interviewed. Plus, my lawyer would have to be present.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

That was really fun. And I'm sure that a virtual swap would carry less anxiety that the real thing. I agree with Pseudo that they like to do the opposites to make for the best stories.

Jason, as himself said...

I love the approach that the Queen took with this, and I loved your answers.

You know this means that while she is at your house I will be coming to meet you, since it isn't too long of a drive to get there.

I can't wait!

Life with Kaishon said...

Your answers are delightful! I want to come visit to play with the babies : ). I have to wait until summer though....Brrrrrrrrr. I am sick of this cold. And your cold sounds colder than our cold... : ).

Queenofphrump said...


I knew these questions would put me into your home without travel.

Having never watched the Wife Swap Show but thinking I knew what it was about... I was hoping (after I posted the interview) that everyone would know what I was talking about and not think we were some weird swingers from the 70's or something.... yeah.

I don't think we are that opposite. My liquor cabinet is full... My pantry could very quickly be stocked for you. I do not iron anything, ever. That is why I am the Queenofphrump!!!

Just one note though... The pool still has a few months to warm before we are ready to have you hop in. It is warm from late April to late October since it is only solar heated. You can hop in but you will surely come flying out to land into the hot bathtub.

I so wish you lived here!

Anonymous said...

Great interview!!

Tricia said...

Great interview, Lori. I can't imagine going on Wife Swap for real. I'd have to take hostages.

gram. said...

i don't watch the swap show but am up for the game, be gentle on me, i doubt any one would want to swap with me, this will be interesting. just for you lori! have a great night!

Beth said...

this is so much fun!!!! While I wouldn't want to do it for real either....OMG the horrors of it all....this would be fun!

Heinous said...

Great interview. I think those people are nuts for swapping but if they can handle, more power to them.

Krystal said...

oooohhhhh this sounds cool!! interview me! interview me!!!