At one time in my life, I used to be the best list maker. I had lists for everything from meals to chores to personal goals. The thing with lists is that they taunt me endlessly until I can honestly cross them off. A long time ago I stopped making lists, to quiet the perfectionist side of me, that just needed to stop driving me and everyone else around me, nuts. Last week when I wrote about the legacy I want to leave my children and things I want to change in my life, I began immediately to make a list of those things in my head. Even though I didn't write an actual list until last Sunday, those 10 things, were already imprinted in my big fat head...that never stops thinking.
I actually decided that day, to take action with the goal to spend more alone time with my husband, by asking my sister to watch the little people, so that we could get away for our first weekend away together EVER. That's right people, my husband and I have not ever had the pleasure of going away. Just. The. Two. Of. Us. It's not like we haven't tried but that's a whole different story. The plan was for us to leave after we signed the custody papers at the lawyers office. I had us all packed...even had to dig out our cold weather clothes because the days of reaching 70 have pretty much passed. The little people were extremely happy about going to their aunt and uncles for a weekend of fun...we were extremely happy because not only was this legal mess coming to an end once we signed the papers, but we were also getting away for some much needed alone time.
Everything was good. Well...not so much. About 15 minutes into our 45 minute drive to the lawyers, little lady started blowing chunks. The poor thing vomited so much that we had to keep stopping and cleaning it up as best as we could...but we had to keep going because these papers had to be signed by 5 '0 clock. We made it there with 10 minutes to spare. Needless to say, our weekend blew chunks and it was instead spent taking care of sick little people. Our lives were once again interrupted by having to do the right thing and stay home. On the bright side I did get to put in some good quality time on my exercise goal and eating healthy.
On Monday evening my husband mentioned that he didn't feel good, which doesn't happen very often. I, being the lovely wife that I am, gloated in the fact that he was getting sick and I wasn't. This was after he had predicted that I would get really sick, because whenever I get sick it's to the fullest extent and rarely just a little sick and that he rarely, if ever, gets sick...which I guess, really is true but I hate admitting that. I don't have time to be interrupted with getting sick...I have things to do, like working on my new list...yeah right. I should never gloat because it almost always comes back and bites me in the ass. That very night I started feeling nauseous and I being a person of great denial put it off as being from the pain I was in, because when I am in a lot of pain like I was, I get sick to my stomach. Wrong.
While my husband sweat out the damn bug and woke up all better Tuesday morning, I was so damn sick and got to enjoy trying to take care of the two little people while spending most of the day in the bathroom. It has brought everything to a halt around here, from getting anything done around the house to writing on this blog to exercising...to working on my list. Damn interruptions.
Yesterday, I felt much better but this nauseous feeling has stuck around...it feels more like morning sickness...which believe me when I say I know what morning sickness feels like because I had it(to such an extent that I had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks) from the moment I got pregnant til the moment I gave birth, with EVERY pregnancy and you know I was pregnant more than once. I can assure you that I am not pregnant unless of course under some divine intervention, I have now grown a uterus. And I can not believe for one second that God would do that to me. I know He has a sense of humor but that would NOT be funny. On the bright side to all of this, I have been too sick to smoke, so that helps with my goal towards quitting.
Thank you for your encouragement and wisdom on my list of goals. I really am trying not to obsess about these goals I have made in the form of a list. I also know that life's interruptions will come and go and my list will still be here. I will keep taking these baby steps and just like a baby, I know I will fall down...but, I will keep getting back up. I am a work in progress...and on the bright side, I know I'm not pregnant!