I can do this!

In just 1 week, if all goes well in our travels with the little people, we will be in Florida and I will be hugging my youngest son! We will spend the day and night with him, before we make another 6 hour drive to my daughters. I will get to see his college and meet his girlfriend. I don't know who is more excited him or us!

My granddaughter(my daughter that is getting married, daughter)has taken to calling me numerous times a day to discuss all the things we are going to do...at least all the things she thinks we should do anyways. Her and I have a special bond so getting to spend this time with her brings such joy to my heart.

My youngest daughter and her son are now getting to come for the wedding! They are only able to come for 4 days but I will take anything I can get. Earlier this week we found an inexpensive plane ticket for them which in the long run came out cheaper than if we took a few days and drove there to see them. Being able to have time with all of my children at one time is the cry of my heart so this makes me so damn happy!

These are the kinds of things I am focusing on as I head into our vacation. I will not let my body issues affect my joy of being with the ones I love the most in this world. For the first time in years, I have bought new Summer clothes to wear while we are there...clothes that show some skin. This is big for me because if you really know me, then you know that first of all I don't do shopping, secondly I don't ever buy new clothes for myself since I get most of my clothes second hand and thirdly, since I tend to wear clothes that are either too big or cover me up since I am so self conscious of my body. For the first time in years, I will wear a swimming suit...dear lord what have I gotten myself into?

This all came at the urging of my dear husband. He sent me out shopping one Sunday and I came back with nothing, so he suggested I start looking on-line since I hate going shopping so much. To be honest, I didn't even know how to begin or what size to order. I ordered a bunch of clothes with the idea of sending many of them back after trying them on at home. The clothes came and I was scared to even try them on, so one night my husband pretty much forced me to try them all on for him. To say that he loved everything is an understatement...let's just say that I am not getting to send any of it back. He is one very happy man about this.

My little man seen me in one of the dresses and told me that I look like a beautiful princess lady. When my Florida granddaughter heard about my new clothes she said that she can hardly wait to see me in the new clothes and to take my picture in them. Say what? Good grief I wasn't even thinking about pictures!

This is a big step for me. I am scared shitless about this but it's something I have to do. Just seeing how happy it makes my husband and my children, forces me to make this giant step. Like I said, I am not going to focus on these fears as I go into this...I am focusing on the loves of my life and all the fun and joy I will experience just being with them all. I can do this.