Last week, while we were aboard our exciting ride on the potty train, we had many opportunities for some interesting conversations...about body parts, ya know, of the male and female kind. An important part of the training process was the fact that I needed to have them in my eye sight at All times, which of course included when I myself, needed to use the toilet. It was also good for them to watch me so that I could model for them, what exactly they are suppose to be doing. As hard as I tried to be private while having them standing there watching me...and believe me they were watching me, it was quite impossible for them not to see something...or lack of something as was the case for little man.
The very first time that little man was really paying attention, he screamed in alarm at what wasn't there. Meaning, my lack of a penis. In his exact words, "oh no mommy, your penis fell off!" He literally thought my penis had fallen into the toilet and he insisted on looking for it inside the toilet. I, of course explained that I did not have a penis and no it hadn't fallen off. And so began our conversations about girls having a vagina and boys having a penis. The thing is, I had told him the appropriate names for those body parts in the past but for some reason something clicked in this moment that he realized I was different from him and now I had his attention.
To say that this fascinated him is an understatement. This is all he wanted to talk about ALL day. He was determined to figure out which part...vagina or penis, that EVERY person, he has ever known, has. He finally got it of course and that put him into deep thought, which brought more questions for me. Little lady just walked around repeating him. Great. In my head, I pictured my two little people walking around talking about penis's and vagina's to everyone they came into contact with. I fully expected this talk to continue into the next day but it didn't. In fact, there has been very little talk of it since.
I know people that are very uncomfortable talking about private body parts let alone using their proper names when refering to them. I know people that cannot even say the words penis and vagina to me in a conversation, let alone to their children. For me personally, this has never been an issue for me...I call them what they are, just as I do with any other body parts. How about you? Does this make you feel uncomfortable? If you have children, have you had these kinds of conversations? Do you use the proper names or do you use nicknames when you talk with your children?
7 comments:
I couldn't even SAY the word SEX until I was twenty years old. I am not kidding. I grew up in a home where we just didn't talk about this kind of thing, ever, and I didn't know anything about the male penis, at all, even at twenty (yes, the French educated me in more ways that one!)
I am all for being open about it completely. They are just words, and the world, outside of America, seem to love their bodies, rejoice in them, and not feel a lot of shame like there is in America...no one cares your shape and size in Brazil, they just love the sun and enjoy!)
However, in France...sorry, this is where my baby experiences came from, I knew a family where the mother was very literal about everything. So she would literally ask her two year old, "Do you need to have a bowel movement?" I about dropped dead when i heard that. And the two year old responded, "No, I just need to urinate." I was like...what in the hell is happening here!?
But, eh, to each his own.
I've spent a lot of time this morning reading your blogs and looking at the pictures. Girl, you have earned my total respect for what you have come through and where you are going now. I help my daughter with her children A LOT but I can't imagine raising them full time, even though it seems I already do sometimes. Thanks for stopping by my place and you've gained another faithful reader here.
I have ALWAYS said the correct body parts to my kids and I guess my ex does NOT like my 5 year old saying vagina. She has to say "private parts". I told her she will use the correct words with me and I'm sorry her daddy doesn't like that word.
I do remember when my boys were little and my dog was in heat. I took her to the vet to get that test before I had her bred and my son, at 4, yelled "Mommy! Straus is bleeding from her vagina!" The other adults kinda giggled, but it didn't bother me at all.
This is a funny subject. Several years back I put my youngest daughter on the potty and told her to do her business while I had a shower. When I pulled the shower curtain open she had a very serious look on her face. Then she looked up at me and asked, "Mommy, when will I have feathers?" We now call pubic hair feathers at our house.
No we are not afraid to use the proper words, we just choose to be less formal about all of it.
I haven't taught Autumn the proper names for body parts yet, but I know she's seen both my husband and I sans clothes. I'm not against using proper names. One of the first words we taught She's noticed my pubic hair and asked what it is (I just told her it was hair).
During potty training, I wasn't quite sure what to call her body parts because I didn't know what would be considered age appropriate terms. When it came time to wipe, I'd say we had to wipe her "tushie" and also wipe "where it tickles" because she'd always squirm when I wiped her front. I have no idea if that was correct, but it worked for us.
For some reason I can say (and hear) "penis" much easier than I can say (or hear) "vagina."
My kids have their own terms, and they are not the scientific ones. I'll spare you!
BTW, thanks for visiting my blog recently. I've wanted to come here and visit and comment, but my life has been swamped lately! I look forward to continuing to read your site. I already have admiration for you and what you've done in your life!
HA! Great story. One of my daughters at about this same age was begging me for weeks to see what my penis looked like. Finally, after stepping out of the shower, I called her over. She took a long look and then said, "Ew."
And she walked away and that was the end of that!
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