In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Seasons of change

Just as nature has changing seasons, I think we as human beings, go through seasons in our lives. I have stated in the past that I am going through lots of changes in my life has been changing seasons so to learning to let go...learning to accept what has come into my life, weather it be two little people or the pain from my injury, so that I can move on to the next season. Just as it takes time for us to adapt to the changes that the new season brings, weather that be shoveling snow again or learning to live with those nasty mosquitoes, we too, take time to adapt to the new seasons in our lives. Since I have entered this new season of my life...this journey of figuring out my life...of trying to find "me" again...I am doing a lot of self reflection.

I am finding that I tend to be very hard on myself. While I can find grace and forgiveness for others, it is much harder to find this for myself. I also know that to truly change anything, we need to love ourselves, flaws and all, in the here and now. I am realizing that I don't always like or love myself...that I tend to see myself through a lens that is clouded with my flaws, mistakes, and my past…and most of the time, it is me, that doesn’t accept myself for who and what I am…it’s not so much other people that don’t accept me with my flaws or my past, it’s me. I am the one that stands in my way.

I was looking for something in a box yesterday afternoon and came across a paper, with a quote by Maya Angleou on it, that my very wise daughter had given me a few years ago. For a period of time that paper had hung on my refrigerator for me to read each the process of moving a couple of years ago, that paper had went into a box, until I found it yesterday. It was meant for me to find this and once again it will go back up on my refrigerator.

This is what it says..."I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes-it is inevitable. But once you do see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, "well, if I'd known better I'd have done better," that's all.
So you say to people who you think you may have injured, "I'm sorry" and then you say to yourself, "I'm sorry". If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we are capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one owns self. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think of yourself. If you don't have that you never grow, you never learn, and sure as hell you should never teach. Maya Angleou

I am a work in progress. Right now, there are a lot of things that are standing between my face and the mirror. In striving to remove these things, I need to love, forgive and accept myself for who I am right now, in this moment. Someday, I want to stand in front of the mirror and like what I see...I want to see all that I am capable of being...I want to see my glory for all that it is.


Bina said...

It took me many years to finally think, no, to finally KNOW I am a good person, and I have a lot to give people, and yea, I've made mistakes (because as you said, who hasn't) and I've forgiven myself for most, but not all. But I have learned from them.

And I used to just literally hate myself and everything about me. I have learned to appreciate my curly hair, my blue eyes, and most things about me. It was very, VERY hard to do!

Haley-O said...

Oh wow! Very powerful post! We are all works in progress! I totally believe that. I think the more we realize that, the better -- for us and everyone around us.

I love that quote about forgiveness. Thank you for that!

Another concept I like, as much as forgiveness, is "permission." Give yourself permission to mess up.... Give yourself permission to indulge, stay in bed, etc., etc..

Thanks for sharing. It's so all about that.... ;)

SciFi Dad said...

As parents, it is especially difficult to accept our flaws. We want to be perfect for our children, and when we cannot be, it is a hard reality to face. As you said, we have to learn to forgive ourselves, because we're the only ones who haven't. Everyone else in our lives who loves us already forgave us long ago.

Great post.

Heather said...

It is hard to see past all our flaws and see everything that's good. One of the things I have enjoyed about getting older is that all the stuff that used to bug me doesn't seem that important anymore. Forgiving ourselves is the hardest part.

Beautiful post. I love Maya Angelou.

Jason said...

Hello, friend. Thank you for stopping by The Jason Show. I dare say that I haven't ever received a comment as heartfelt and meaningful as the one you left today regarding my son-in-law. I will take your words into my mind and heart and let them do their work. I'm amazed at the variance of opinions I have gotten, but yours is one that came from a very different perspective...a perspective I needed to consider.

Thank you so much for your sweet words about the other things I've written about. You know as well as I do that when you put yourself so "out there" there is certainly a feeling of vulnerability. But I'm so lucky that people have been nothing but kind.

I've read the most recent of your posts, and I think I'll need to go back and read them again, because you bring up a lot of very important points that most of us really need to consider.

My heart is full right now because of your post--thank you again.

D'Arcy said...

very true, very true. I am in a big season of change in my life,a nd while it's been really hard, it's also been the most eye opening experience I have ever had, it's shaping me into a different and better person, and I wouldn't change that.