Tomorrow we will make the long drive to deliver our grandson A-man, who is 16 months old, to his new home. My youngest daughter is his mommy and she moved a few weeks ago to start her new job and to get settled in their new home...in another state. My daughter and A-man came to live with us when he was just a couple of weeks old, if even that, and now 16 months later, we are moving him to a new home.
I am happy and excited for them to be making their own home...I just wish it didn't have to be so far away, 'cause you might have guessed that we have grown pretty attached to the little guy. My two little people are best buddies with him and the three of them have pretty much grown up together...with lots of love, lots of fights, lots of hugs and kisses, lots of screaming and laughing. He started out a pretty cranky baby but he still managed to wrap himself around my heart...he grew into himself and has quite the personality...he has filled my days and nights and kept me on my toes. It will be hard to go from living with him every day to not seeing him except for short visits. I have no other choice then to let go...it's the only good and right thing to do. When they came to live with us, I never planned that they would be with us for as long as they were, but I knew that some day they would leave. This day is upon us and ready or not, I must let go.
Of course I have my concerns...my daughter and her son, have never been on their own...they will be too far away for me to help if it's needed...she is still young and has things to learn about life and living and I know she will learn these things on her own journey and in her own time. I've done the best I can to teach her these things but there are some things that you have to learn on your own and not from your mother...things you learn from just living life, that you can't learn from someone else or from a text book...so letting go....it does not mean I don't care anymore or not worrying(even though that does no good, please tell that to my heart)about my daughter and grandson. It means that she will learn some things the hard way, just as I did as a young mother...I have to step back...and my job is to just love her and not stop believing in her, no matter how many mistakes she makes.
Our lives are about to change...theirs and ours...there will be some positives and some negatives...we will all make adjustments and in time it will all work out...it's just this initial letting go and the time it takes to get to the other side that is so damn hard.
So, here's to my sweet little man...my little McFatty...you have brought so much love and joy into our lives...you have rocked my world by being a part of it day in and day out...it has been a blessing to watch you grow up so closely...not every grandma gets the privilege of having this kind of relationship with her grandson...you will always have a piece of my heart...you will always be my special little man. I love you all the way to the moon and back.