When I use the word “embrace” I mean to “take on” or “face” and in confidence stop running from those things I think are so much bigger then me.
Right now, I am gearing up to face that which seems bigger then me.
The whole situation with my step daughter and raising her children.
I am not going to walk on egg shells anymore. I am not going to stand silently to the side, and watch this bigger situation continual unfold and wreck havoc in our home. I am done biting my tongue. I am not going to keep feeling sorry for her and falling for her manipulations.
I have watched the little’s suffer because of these kinds of visits for the last time. At least if I can help it anyways. They are still suffering…maybe not as bad as the past couple of weeks but the affects are still showing their ugly face. And I don’t think they are just going to disappear this time.
While we are still mending their hearts and spirits, she is gone doing whatever it is she does in Vegas.
This time, the lines were crossed over just a little too much. No, a lot too much.
We must stand up to the monster before she destroys these little one’s completely. We have to.
She fly’s in here and has been allowed way to much undeserved freedom with them, and then fly’s away again.
I am tired of being played. I am tired of being the one that’s kicked in the gut.
She causes a wreck and leaves while we clean up her mess…it’s almost like she gets enjoyment over it.
But, no more. We will be informing her this week that we are going back to short limited supervised visits, among a whole list of other conditions. She will lash out. She will pull out the victim card. The pity card. She will try to manipulate the rules we lay out. She will play all her cards and if they don’t work she might even have her cash daddy hire a lawyer to fight us for custody.
We can’t let that keep us from protecting these little one’s. We have cowered and walked on egg shells in order to not upset her and cause her to do the very thing we fear happening…just so we can keep giving the little’s what they so deserve…just because we want peace…just because she is my husbands daughter, and my step daughter.
And who wants to fight their own child?
Why does she keep refusing to do the simple things we ask her to do? Things that will make her life better and make it so she can parent? We aren’t asking for all that much but we are asking her to step up to the plate. Is that too much?
Ultimately, she would get her shit together, and become the mom she calls herself. And if she can’t that she would just leave us alone.
It’s getting to the point that we will not hand them back to her. It’s going on 3 1/2 years and how long should we do this before we say it would cause more damage to give them back?
Even though we have custody and the visitation is up to us, do you know how many rights birth mothers have? Even if they do unthinkable things? Even if we have been doing this for over 3 years?
Regardless, we will fight in court if it comes to that. We will fight with every dime we have. Even if it means we lose in the end, we will at least know that we fought hard. We’ve already spent a lot of pretty pennies just to get the custody but if we have to, we will spend the rest.
I will face this situation with confidence. Confidence in knowing we are doing the right thing. Confidence that this situation which seems so big, will not win. Confidence that no, we are not the bad guys. Confidence that these little one’s that look to us to protect them, will be protected.
How can I look at these two and not?
I will have confidence that this thing that seems so big right now, will not always seem so, and will one day be a thing of the past.
I am confident that I will rise to this challenge.
What would you like to be more confident about?
Love & Hugs, Lori