In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


I have a confession…maybe it’s not a total confession, because I have admitted to this in comments, on some of your blogs. Anyways, my confession…I laugh when I shouldn’t. I have this tendency to laugh at inappropriate moments or when something really is not funny…or at least shouldn’t be funny. It’s embarrassing…to say the least…and I really haven’t figured out how to stop doing it.

You see, I love humor. I love to laugh. Even more, I love to hear other people laugh. I love to hear children laugh...their giggles are like music to my soul and I cannot help but laugh right along with them. Laughter is contagious and it doesn’t take much for me to catch it. Laughter, really is some of the best medicine. Even though I have my moments of deep thoughts and seriousness, I tend to see the brighter side of life and try not to take life too serious. It keeps me coping with the shit sandwiches that get served up in my day. Humor keeps me sane and from jumping over the cliff. This is not the problem.

It doesn’t take much to make me laugh and I find humor in most things…even when I shouldn’t. This is where the problem comes in. I have been known to laugh during church services, workshop lectures,in a yoga class, while getting yelled at, weddings, funerals…yes a funeral, and to be exact, 1 funeral that stands out in my memory, and even while disciplining my children…ugh, don’t even get me started on that one and I am sure they would love to tell you stories.

The problem is more with the fact that during these really quiet and mostly serious moments, something sets me off, like, an expression, a weird noise, a child does or say’s something, the thoughts going through my mind(thank God people cannot read my mind) or something that gets said, that reaches inside to my crazy button…

…and I will feel the laughter building inside of me and I will fight it with thinking about something serious or sad and sometimes this helps…if I am able to, I excuse myself from the situation and walk out before I embarrass myself. BUT, I am not always able to just walk out…or it comes on without warning. If I happen to be next to someone that is disapproving, like say my father or my ex-husband, it is even worse. Their anger or attempts to make me stop are like throwing gasoline on a fire that is already started.

In my defense of laughing in the middle of the funeral, I know that stress played a big role and was the cause of such laughter. I was at my brother-in-laws funeral and I was very close with him and my sister-in-law and their 3 small children. In trying to be strong for her and the children, I hadn’t cried very much. When I started laughing hysterically in the middle of his funeral, I was as shocked as everyone else around me. When I couldn’t stop, I was going to walk out but I was standing right next to his wife and she wouldn’t let me leave…then she slapped me across the face and instantly I stopped laughing and started crying…and yes, the funeral came to a pause so that we were center stage. Can you image how this looked to the couple of hundred people watching? She told me later that day, that she knew I was having this reaction because of stuffing my emotions. She and many others found this whole scene quite funny later on. Me, not so much. Still, very embarrassing.

There have been many times when I have laughed, when I should be crying. I know that there have been times that my circumstances in life, were not laugh worthy but I laughed in spite. I know it’s not funny but I also know that it helped me survive. I have been told by counselors that I used laughter to avoid “feeling” and to cope. No kidding, but a person, can only take so much serious, deep shit, before they get sent to the permanent loony, I choose laughter.

“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life” Anonymous

“Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.” Arnold H. Glasgow

If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane. Jimmy Buffet

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. Lord Byron

Back to my confession…I laugh when I should and sometimes when I shouldn’t. I find humor in life and all the people around me and while some of it may not be funny, and I embarrass myself once in a while, it’s okay.

Do you ever laugh at inappropriate times? Have you ever been embarrassed by your own laughter? What’s your take on laughter? Do you have any stories to tell? Please share.

This is my spin on laughter…now go check out Sprite’s Keeper of the weekly Spin Cycle for more spins on laughter.

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. ~Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis


Jan said...

Oh, are you a Stephen King fan?? Me, too!!!

As for the laughing thing, well, I'd make a comment but I'm too busy laughing. (It has long been a trait of mine to laugh at everything...mostly inappropriate everythings...)

SciFi Dad said...

I always found laughter overrated.

Then I had kids, and discovered that their laughter is the most amazing sound in the world.

The Incredible Woody said...

You are not alone. I laugh at very inappropriate times too. I cannot tell you how many times I got in trouble as a kid for laughing during prayer at church. But there was just no stopping it!!

I also laugh when I am very, VERY frightened!! I remember laughing hysterically as I lost control of my car going around a curve. As I spun (doing about 3 180s), I turned to my husband in the passenger seat and could not stop laughing. Thankfully, no one was coming in the opposite direction and we stayed on the roadway.

I think I'd rather be a laugher than a cryer.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Take out laughter and insert smiling and there's me in an uncomfortable setting. It's either that or cry. I think laughter can ease the pain of anything and if it is a coping mechanism, so be it. It just makes the coping a little easier to slip into, greases the edges of the hard rock. Laugh away!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Oh, yeah/ You're linked! (Sorry! I got caught up in the comment!)

midlife slices said...

I think I've been raising your daughter for 28 years. Could you come get her, please?? LOL

That girl would make my blood boil when I'd be scolding her big time and she'd start laughing at me. She still laughs when she shouldn't and then it makes me made because I start laughing with her.

To answer your question though, YES, I've laughed at inappropriate times and I think I wrote about laughing in a funeral once. Sometimes ya just gotta do it or bust.

Thanks for the Thursday laugh.

CaJoh said...

You beat me to this. I was pondering posting about laughing as well. I am glad that you find life amusing— I also get strange looks from my wife when I find something funny. I amuse myself sometimes too often.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Oh I am sooo bad about laughing.

I'm that idiot at the funeral having too much fun. Don't tell me that you want to have a party and then haunt me when I enjoy your funeral.

And this is why I can't go to church. I'm a chronic stifled laugher!

Busy Bee Suz said...

My kids tell me I laugh too much. How is that possible I wonder? I come from a long line of laughers...sometimes at innapropriate times. That is life really. We can't all be tin soldiers can we?
I used to get spankings in school for laughing. Really. and it just made me laugh more. :)

For Myself said...

I am a singer. I once laughed all the way through what was supposed to be a solo. Oops!

Kathryn Magendie said...

Hey - when my nephew died so very young (he was 20), we were sitting there just devastated and suddenly my nephew's mother said something and her husband laughed! loud! and it was like a gunshot went off...every head turned in his direction - we talked about it later - it was nervousness and stress and just ...all that!

I love a good sense of humor - love to hear people laugh - so I bet I'd like to be around you! :)

Riahli said...

I always laugh at the wrong times, I have a strange sense of humor and I see the funny in not so obvious situations. I am also one of those people who laughs when they are nervious or even sometimes when I am scared.

I also bust up at times when trying to be serious with my boys, or when they are doing something that I should probably scold them about, but instead it just seems funny. Not always a good thing.

I once started laughing hysterically when J, my husband's little brother, walked straight into a wall, hard, at the mall and fell down. He was crying and I couldn't stop laughing. My husband was so embarassed and so was I really, but I just couldn't stop. I was laughing so hard I could barely breath. I think I laughed all the way out to the car. I felt really bad afterwards that I laughed instead of comforting him.

Besides laughing at inappropriate times though, laughing is so good for you. It's good to see the humor in every day life. I have a daycare in my home and deal with kids all day, and I wouldn't make it through the first hour if I didn't have a sense of humor!

D'Arcy said...

Me too!

Once my friend totally slipped and fell in front of me and as I was helping her I couldn't stop laughing. I just laugh when painful things happen to others. I feel bad.

Mostly though, I'll have a hard time not laughing at serious things my students say.

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Girl.....I feel AND share your pain, lol.
I started laughing during my Papa's funeral. Now that's inappropriate laughter at it's finest. It was probably nerves. You can be sure that my Gran told me off afterwards as well :)

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Debbie said...

Yes, I do this! And it can be so terrible. It just starts and takes over, doesn't it? I bet you were shocked when you were slapped at that funeral!

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I've laughed at many inappropriate times. And then there are more times when I've wanted to laugh but somehow managed to suppress it because of the inappropriateness. But there's always something...a look, an observations, something that is funny. And sometimes that's what we need in a stressful and serious situation.

And I'm with you...there's nothing better than a child's giggle!

MilesPerHour said...

I find many things humorous but seldom laugh. So I am on the other end of the spectrum I guess.

Dave said...

I love to laugh always and often. In my deepest darkest moments I can muster up a good gufaw at life. It keeps me sane.

Swampy said...

Laughter...the shortest distance between two people.

Wanna clear out an elevator?
Besides letting a big fart go, start laughing hysterically.

No more crowded elevator.

Jason, as himself said...

This was a fantastic post.

I say it's better to laugh maybe a bit too much than not enough!

I have laughed at a funeral, too. Sometimes you just HAVE to laugh in the middle of tragic situations.

Your post about laughing instead of dealing with issues makes me think a bit about how my daughter reacted when we were in the PICU a few months back. Hmmm.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Great post! As you already know, I laugh at all the serious things in my life to help me cope too. Hey, if it works, don't fix it, right?

MGM said...

Mine is a different in which I didn't know how to laugh. Until....and that is where I can't continue the story in a "public" forum like this. It's just too personal. But if you ever really want to me and I'll explain in a private message!

pamajama said...

I love that you laugh. I'd rather everyone laugh at my funeral than cry. Maybe a bit of each, all at the same time. Laughter makes everything better. I'd certainly rather follow you around, rather than someone who was dry & serious. Yuck! On the other hand, a nervous titter can just be annoying. I've been known to do that & it's hideous. But if it's all I had to worry about I'd take it:)

Laufa said...

At least you have a coping mechanism. Some people bottle it up for so long, all they know is the hurt.

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