I have a confession…maybe it’s not a total confession, because I have admitted to this in comments, on some of your blogs. Anyways, my confession…I laugh when I shouldn’t. I have this tendency to laugh at inappropriate moments or when something really is not funny…or at least shouldn’t be funny. It’s embarrassing…to say the least…and I really haven’t figured out how to stop doing it.
You see, I love humor. I love to laugh. Even more, I love to hear other people laugh. I love to hear children laugh...their giggles are like music to my soul and I cannot help but laugh right along with them. Laughter is contagious and it doesn’t take much for me to catch it. Laughter, really is some of the best medicine. Even though I have my moments of deep thoughts and seriousness, I tend to see the brighter side of life and try not to take life too serious. It keeps me coping with the shit sandwiches that get served up in my day. Humor keeps me sane and from jumping over the cliff. This is not the problem.
It doesn’t take much to make me laugh and I find humor in most things…even when I shouldn’t. This is where the problem comes in. I have been known to laugh during church services, workshop lectures,in a yoga class, while getting yelled at, weddings, funerals…yes a funeral, and to be exact, 1 funeral that stands out in my memory, and even while disciplining my children…ugh, don’t even get me started on that one and I am sure they would love to tell you stories.
The problem is more with the fact that during these really quiet and mostly serious moments, something sets me off, like, an expression, a weird noise, a child does or say’s something, the thoughts going through my mind(thank God people cannot read my mind) or something that gets said, that reaches inside to my crazy button…
…and I will feel the laughter building inside of me and I will fight it with thinking about something serious or sad and sometimes this helps…if I am able to, I excuse myself from the situation and walk out before I embarrass myself. BUT, I am not always able to just walk out…or it comes on without warning. If I happen to be next to someone that is disapproving, like say my father or my ex-husband, it is even worse. Their anger or attempts to make me stop are like throwing gasoline on a fire that is already started.
In my defense of laughing in the middle of the funeral, I know that stress played a big role and was the cause of such laughter. I was at my brother-in-laws funeral and I was very close with him and my sister-in-law and their 3 small children. In trying to be strong for her and the children, I hadn’t cried very much. When I started laughing hysterically in the middle of his funeral, I was as shocked as everyone else around me. When I couldn’t stop, I was going to walk out but I was standing right next to his wife and she wouldn’t let me leave…then she slapped me across the face and instantly I stopped laughing and started crying…and yes, the funeral came to a pause so that we were center stage. Can you image how this looked to the couple of hundred people watching? She told me later that day, that she knew I was having this reaction because of stuffing my emotions. She and many others found this whole scene quite funny later on. Me, not so much. Still, very embarrassing.
There have been many times when I have laughed, when I should be crying. I know that there have been times that my circumstances in life, were not laugh worthy but I laughed in spite. I know it’s not funny but I also know that it helped me survive. I have been told by counselors that I used laughter to avoid “feeling” and to cope. No kidding, but a person, can only take so much serious, deep shit, before they get sent to the permanent loony bin...so, I choose laughter.
“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life” Anonymous
“Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.” Arnold H. Glasgow
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane. Jimmy Buffet
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. Lord Byron
Back to my confession…I laugh when I should and sometimes when I shouldn’t. I find humor in life and all the people around me and while some of it may not be funny, and I embarrass myself once in a while, it’s okay.
Do you ever laugh at inappropriate times? Have you ever been embarrassed by your own laughter? What’s your take on laughter? Do you have any stories to tell? Please share.
This is my spin on laughter…now go check out Sprite’s Keeper of the weekly Spin Cycle for more spins on laughter.
You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. ~Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis