Recently, I was sent this excerpt, from a book, written by Marianne Williamson, which I found to be interesting, since I have made 2009 a year of facing my fears with courage. 2009 is my year of embracing courage.
Marianne Williamson writes in her book A Return to Love:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
The truth of her words hit me between the eyes. Each time I read this, I realized how true these words are for me.
The truth is, when it comes down to it, I am most afraid to let my light shine. Even more, I’m afraid to see the light.
I am afraid to really love myself. I say, I love myself, but do I really?
I am afraid to look at myself and see the good. I fear that if I come to believe, that I am these good things, that people say I am, then what? It's not that I don't see any good in me, it's more that these good things seem to be over shadowed by the mistakes lurking in the corner.
Am I not the mistake, that I always believed I was? Am I not as bad, as I always thought myself to be? Could it be, that not all of it was true? That I have believed lies?
It has been quite easy for me to see my bad…my sins, my mistakes, my failures. It’s been even easier to believe them. Why is it so much easier to believe the bad about ourselves, then it is to believe the good? These things have defined me…at least I have let them define me. I have been on a life long self improvement course, always trying to make myself better…trying to fix what is broken. Maybe, it's time to kick some of these things to the curb?
Could it be, that all along, what I have feared most is truly believing, that I really might be a child of God? That I am good? Could it be, that I need to let go of the darkness and start embracing the light that is in me? I want to be liberated from my past “ideas” of me and start embracing who I really am now. With courage, I let go of what was and embrace what is.
“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine!”
Do you see your light? Do you let it shine? How did you learn to do that?