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In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Embracing Your Light

Recently, I was sent this excerpt, from a book, written by Marianne Williamson, which I found to be interesting, since I have made 2009 a year of facing my fears with courage. 2009 is my year of embracing courage.

Marianne Williamson writes in her book A Return to Love:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

The truth of her words hit me between the eyes. Each time I read this, I realized how true these words are for me.

The truth is, when it comes down to it, I am most afraid to let my light shine. Even more, I’m afraid to see the light.

I am afraid to really love myself. I say, I love myself, but do I really?

I am afraid to look at myself and see the good. I fear that if I come to believe, that I am these good things, that people say I am, then what? It's not that I don't see any good in me, it's more that these good things seem to be over shadowed by the mistakes lurking in the corner.

Am I not the mistake, that I always believed I was? Am I not as bad, as I always thought myself to be? Could it be, that not all of it was true? That I have believed lies?

It has been quite easy for me to see my bad…my sins, my mistakes, my failures. It’s been even easier to believe them. Why is it so much easier to believe the bad about ourselves, then it is to believe the good? These things have defined me…at least I have let them define me. I have been on a life long self improvement course, always trying to make myself better…trying to fix what is broken. Maybe, it's time to kick some of these things to the curb?

Could it be, that all along, what I have feared most is truly believing, that I really might be a child of God? That I am good? Could it be, that I need to let go of the darkness and start embracing the light that is in me? I want to be liberated from my past “ideas” of me and start embracing who I really am now. With courage, I let go of what was and embrace what is.

“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine!”

Do you see your light? Do you let it shine? How did you learn to do that?


Sandi said...

Good question. Great post. There are days, I think I am shining ok, and other days, I wonder if I ever had a lightbulb.... You know those days? They happen to all of us!

Life with Kaishon said...

What a sweet post. I have a light in me from Jesus! I try to remember that every day. People might only see me for a moment in the grocery store, or at the gas station, but there is always a chance for them to see Jesus' light shine thru me. Far too often I am a bad representation of Him, but I do try to remember every day. I love that song. I am going to sing it with Kaish on his way to school tomorrow.

Praying for you and the new job!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I saw Marianne Williamson speak once. It was quite powerful. You are contemplating some very deep and soulful questions. Wish I could say I ebrace my light at all times and don't live n fear of mistakes. But I am not there yet. Still trying.

Anonymous said...

There can be periods of fear from shining your light as brightly as you can and exposing yourself to the fears of failure, inadequacy or embarrassment.

Shine yours as brighly as you need to.

The Incredible Woody said...

Beautiful! I have been doing some soul searching lately. The statement where you said that you have let the bad things define you really spoke to my heart. I am in this same boat. I am working on purging these attitudes. Thank you!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

This was such a powerful post. You are such a beautiful person both inside and out. You just need to see yourself as the rest of us see you and as God sees you. Hugs. Cheers to letting your light shine!

Captain Dumbass said...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate." Every night when I tuck my little boys in.

Anonymous said...

I love this quote so much. You seem to be turning onto the right path... So many of us see something so incredibly brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. When you write about your inner struggles it confuses me and I think, "What?" There is beautiful truth to this Lori.

Midlife Slices said...

You never fail to make me dig down deep and do some major soul searching. I think this excerpt is exactly what I needed to hear today and you are exactly right. That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid I'm much better than I feel and I don't know how to handle that.

You are the best, did you know that?? (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

I think faster than my fingers move and leave out words.

So many of us see something so incredibly brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous IN YOU!!!

Dave said...

This post was wonderful, and just reaffirmed the reasons I love to read your blog. Inspiration and questions to ponder always.
The deepest fear that we are powerful beyond measure, has been expressed many ways. And is something I truly have come to grips with.
I too suffered most of my life from feelings of inadequency and inferior. In becoming deaf, I fell into of course a deeper hole. One that I thought I would never crawl out of.
Time and thought, and lots of both, helped me realize that I can "shine" in my own way.
Becoming independent of the good opinion of others was another crucial step in my growth.
I had to say to myself "ok your deaf, and have no balance, so what. Don't always think that the world is pointing at you in pity or wonder. That's just vanity, which you're not by any means"
Then I grew.
Great stuff!!
I loved this post!


Jan said...

Part of it is that we are taught that self-love is wrong. We're supposed to love others and care for others more than we do ourselves. As humans, it's one of our greatest strengths...and one of our greatest weaknesses.

Let the light shine, and learn to love it. Don't be afraid of it.

Anonymous said...

What a thought provoking post! I think that women in general have a tough time letting their own light shine. Thanks for giving me something to really think about this morning...


Busy Bee Suz said...

I love the quote...I love that you are still on YOUR search for good....ME too. I have not found it all yet..but I am still working on it.
take care,

CaJoh said...

I actually have that book and have read it twice. I am currently pondering a post about light— it's properties and how it works within us and through us.

Shine on— and don't let your light dim.

Debbie said...

Some days I see my light shining a lot better and brighter than others.
This was a great, thought-provoking post.

Life with Kaishon said...

Kaish and I sang this on the way to school this morning and then we prayed for you and your three little people before he went in. : ) Thanks again for the great reminder.

SciFi Dad said...

Great post.

I heard this quote in the movie Coach Carter. I never knew where it was from.

Thanks for sharing it.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely LOVE this post!!

Tricia said...

Beautiful, honest post, Lori. I do hope you'll see all the brilliance in yourself that we see in you. {{Hugs}}

Stepping Thru said...

It is so hard sometimes to see past my failures and to truly see and understand that I am a Child of God, an Heir to His Kingdom. Your heart is so precious and as you share it with me I find that my heart is blessed. You ARE good beyond anything you can imagine. Thank you for letting your light shine on me.

Pearl said...

How awesome! I have this posted on my fridge. Nelson Mandela said it at his inauguration -- wonder if he got it frm her or she got it frm him?

Fragrant Liar said...

Great post, and so timely! there have been times when I've been shining a funky black light, I think -- or at least, it felt like it. I think Williamson's quotes are right on. I see you already manifesting that courage you're after, in small ways in all your posts. Already, you rock. Embrace that!