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In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.















Friday, December 11, 2009

Finding My Happy

Do you know what is worse then a young child throwing up all over, in the middle of the night? It would be, 2 young children throwing up all over, in the middle of the night…and lasting into the early hours of this morning.

Thankfully, my husband helped me with the first one but he works long hours out in the freezing cold, so after that, I was on my own. I had no more then got little man settled back in bed, when I heard little lady. By the time I got to her, she was already covered. Time to put on my big girl pants and dig in.

Thus, I spent the night going back and forth between the two of them. Right in the middle of all this mess, they realized this meant we would be staying home today.

Little man: “I think I will feel better for school tomorrow.”

Me: “You can’t go to school tomorrow, so we will be staying home.”

Little man: “Well, that’s one good thing about all this.” Said, as he points at his vomit.

A short time later, little lady was sick and as I was cleaning her up, little man hollered into his sister.

We get to stay home with mommy tomorrow.”

Little lady looks at me to see if this is true and as I nod my head, she hugs me tightly, covering me in her vomit. Ugh. Then she pulls away, smiles big and say’s “I’m so happy we’re sick.”

How is it that even in the middle of being covered in puke, my mother heart melts? 

Early this morning after calling the lady I work for and cancelling daycare for the day, we cuddled while watching cartoons. I am thankful for a job that allows me to put these little one’s first. Even more, I am thankful that these two little ones are so happy to be at home with me. I am thankful for the home we have created here with them.

As most of you know I live with pain due to a neck and skull injury. For the past 7 years I’ve been on a rollercoaster ride of learning how to live not just with pain but with the changes in my life. Every day is different. I have to adjust everything I do accordingly. Some days are better then others. Some weeks are worse then others. These past 2 weeks have been tough ones…just when I thought it couldn’t get much worse, this past week got even worse.

Going through a day with a veil of pain over you, sucks the life force out of you. Some of you live with pain yourself, and know what I am talking about here. It’s times when the day’s go into the next with no break from it’s strength, that I have a hard time keeping a positive resolve. My pain has a direct affect on my Post traumatic stress disorder. I hate admitting this but this ugly monster comes out when I am hurting the most.

Seeing life, through the eye’s of pain and with  this monster on my back makes me want to just give up and pray for God to take me. Obviously, He doesn’t listen, because I’m still here. :) These are the times, I tend to shut myself off from people. I think it’s because I feel vulnerable and don’t want to affect other people with how I feel.

I share these things with you because it is not only a part of me but also so that you know that when I don’t stop by and visit your place, it’s very likely due to these things. I have missed visiting you and hope to catch up soon.

Now, on to find my happy …because of course it’s Happy Hour Friday

Collages

Created by Otin and RxBambi!

In spite of pain and puke, I do have lots to be happy about.

I am happy to know you and to have my life made better because of you.

I am happy that our family Christmas party was a lot of fun. I would have to say, it was one of the best we’ve had(other then the years my kids were here, to go with) and we even ended up spending the night at my sisters. It is very rare that my 3 sisters and I and our husbands are all together for a whole night. I am happy for the time I had with my sisters and their husbands.

We finally got our house cleaned which makes me VERY happy. Pre-injury, keeping up with my house was not a problem. Post injury, it is a daily battle. I have to pick and choose what I do. On some days I can barely keep up with work and taking care of the little’s, let alone sweeping a floor or cleaning a bathroom. I am thankful and happy to have a husband who doesn’t complain and picks up the slack a lot. He works long hours out in the cold and still does a lot around here. I am happy to have a clean house but the little people are even more happy because that meant decorating the Christmas tree.

One happy little man…

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Plus one happy little lady…

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Equals 2 happy little rascals…

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And one decorated tree!

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I am happy that in spite of the freezing cold temperatures, our vehicles started all week. Yesterday as I left for work and seen that it was –13 I was very thankful that we no longer travel by horse and buggy. I am happy to live in shelter with heat that keeps us warm in the cold. I am happy that my husband who works in and out of this cold every day, is kept safe and never complains about it.

I am happy for the snow and that when it warms up a bit we can play in it. I am happy that every time it snows, the little’s cheer with shouts of glee.

I am happy that I finished my family photo calendar and have it ordered. It is one of the few gifts I give each of the kids and something they look forward to each year.

I am happy that I have children that are not focused on the commercialism of Christmas and that all of them have told me to NOT buy them anything(they say this every single year)and that instead to spend the money on helping someone else that needs it more. Except, they have asked for the family calendar and some more recipe pages to add to the cookbooks I made for them a few years ago and my son wants to know if I could try sending him some of my hummus and granola. I am happy that I have children so easy to please. I am happy that above all else, I have children that are happy.

I am extremely happy because I just found out that this little guy…

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is going to be coming to my house this next Monday!!!!! And he gets to stay until the following Sunday! This Grandma has been doing the happy dance ever since she heard the news.

Let me tell you, this is one happy, sweet little boy. He is a rascal and yes, I will be chasing 3 rascals around but I sure will be happy! The little’s can hardly wait until he comes. Oh the trouble they will get into together. I will just be so happy to hug and kiss him.

I am happy that there have been Christmas shows on this morning to keep the little people laying down resting.

I am happy that I am here with my little’s and that they are feeling better. I am happy that they don’t get sick very often and that when they do I am able to take care of them. I am happy that it doesn’t take much to make them happy and that they are happy just being with me.

Last but not least, I am happy about all the people I see and hear about,doing wonderful acts of kindness and reaching out. Nothing makes me more happy then seeing people reaching out to one another. This warms my heart and brings tears to my eye’s.

I am so happy to see and hear of the true meaning of Christmas being displayed by so many. Now that’s something to be happy about!!!

Just doing this post reminds me of all that I have to be happy about.

I found my happy!

Tell me, what makes you happy today?

If you don’t know, are you willing to go look for your happy? 

Happy Friday and happy weekend to you and yours!

Cheers! Cheers to you! And you!

100_2035

Love & Hugs, Lori

29 comments:

Brian Miller said...

after the opening i was not sure where this was going to go...having two little ones sick is bad enough without having your own pain...prayers...

i am happy for your happy list though...that your fam christmas party was fun...the smiles on the little ones faces...that you have a great hubs....and snow...i love snow. i hope you have an amazing day and enjoy your time with the extra little man coming to visit!

Midnitefyrfly said...

Now that is a big ol' dose of HAPPY! Especially when you can see past the puke to get it!

Lots of stuff going on for moms with littles at this time of year! Cheers to you for still getting your house clean and getting up the tree! Looks like you made two rascals VERY VERY happy :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I do hope the kids are feeling better. I hate that you live with this constant pain...I jsut could not imagine and It hurts me to think of it day after day. I wish you could find some relief.
Even so...you still manage to find things to be happy about. This is just wonderful...you are a true blessing my friend. You make me appreciate the little things a bit more too...
hugs to you and that wonderful family of yours.
Suz

Jeannie said...

Kiddie puke in the middle of the night is never pleasant.

You are so wise to dwell on all the good things - the happy. It's so hard to do when there is a cloak of pain around you that seems determined to keep you isolated and alone.

I'm happy that I seem to be winning at keeping the hit by a truck pain at bay by staying very very warm - uncomfortably warm many would think but I would far rather sweat than be locked in a fog of torture.

I'm happy that my family don't seem to mind having all of Christmas on Christmas Eve so we can all veg out Christmas Day. I'm happy that this allows my mother to visit both my brother's and my family at Christmas. I'm happy that my sister joins us as well. I wish her boys would be better sons and ask her to join them for holidays but they never do.

I'm happy that my kids are still happy to spend holidays with their parents. I expect that when they have their own children, we will see less of them but for now, it makes me happy.

Riahli said...

Oh my I am going through the sick thing over here starting with hubby and working it's way through my boys...luckly the baby and I haven't got it...yet...it comes with a lovely high fever, yuck! I sort of wish they would have all just got it at the same time and been done with it as I haven't been able to work all week...one after the other all week long! Then again tending to four sickies all at once...well that doesn't sound fun either. Oh well. I love how you ended this post, focusing on the positive! :) You inspire me to do the same.

Midlife Mama said...

Umm is it bad, that when I first saw the title to this post, I thought it said Finding Mr. Happy?

Yeah. I thought so. hehe Sorry.

Although finding Mr. Happy can be fun, too. But then that's another post. *giggles*

Midlife Mama said...

p.s. Oh I am so going to hell. LOL

Barb said...

I'm sorry about your pain, but I'm so glad you find so much to be happy about. Your list is inspiring!

Natalie said...

Sorry about your pain Lori. Until you live with constant pain, you cannot appreciate how it affects your life experiences.

Love those little rascals faces, they are SOOO cute, and I bet they are looking forward to seeing their little cousin too! Yippppeeeeeexx♥

otin said...

I really cannot imagine having chronic pain, day in and day out. I wish that there was something that I could do to help you. I also hear the joy that you have toward the little ones and hope that they can ease your pain with their presence.

Is there anything that they can do for your hurt, besides medication?

Have a good weekend!

Bogey said...

Lori, you're definitely a hero in my books. If it were up to me to clean up after the little sickies, somebody would have to clean up after me. I am so totally useless at such things.

After all that you have been through in the past few weeks, it is quite remarkable that you took the time to look for something, anything really, to be happy about. It has been nice to be a witness to your ability to dig deep and find all that puts a smile in your heart. Every time you trudge through another setback of some sort or another, you have an amazing resiliency to come back and only see the positive. If only we could all see that as an example. Keep hanging in there Lori and with any luck, all of the stars will line up in your favour...God willing.

Tall Kay said...

Hi Lori: I came by to say hello and thank you for the heartfelt comments you left for me. It is amazing how many things we have in common, from movies, books, sisters and grandkids.

I love your gratitude. My grandson lived with me too, but moved away. I miss the puke in the middle of the night. It never bothered me a bit.

You helped me to find 'my happy' here just reading about yours. Always nice to meet a new blogger. Thanks for stopping by.
Hugs,
Karen

Lisa E said...

Very touching Lori, on a multitude of levels. Have a happy weekend.

Lisa E.

Kit Kat said...

Lori,
I always love reading your happy friday posts! I hope the little ones are feeling better soon! that can't be fun for them or you :(
I am glad that you can realize how blessed you are even through all your pain and struggles. You truly are amazing!

rxBambi said...

Oh my gosh, you are quite a happy lady! Sorry about the sick kids, but I thought it was so cute about your little lady hugging you all pukey cuz she got to stay home.
thanks for playing HHF with us!

Fragrant Liar said...

Happy is definitely the way to be, and if you can keep that mindset through all the pain, you're way ahead of the game. Best to you and your sick little munchkins.

Brittany said...

:) I am so happy to have you as my mother! YOU ROCK!!!

P.s. I am SOOOO HAPPY that Aidyn gets to spend time with you! <3!

MGM said...

Sorry about the sick kiddos! That's the worst! But the happy perspective is inspirational. It's exactly the advice I give my clients who struggle with depression. Amazing how effective it is when they start to dwell on the happies instead of all the reasons their lives suck.

Hope everyone is well soon!

~Joy said...

I'm thinking I might have to start the Happy Hour Friday!!! That's usually my worst day of the week, since I've been home alone with all the kids all week. Poor Ben usually hears about it on the phone all day! Maybe if I put a little effort into it like you do I could find something happy too :) Sorry to hear about the sick kids- it always seems to happen in the night doesn't it? Hopefully it won't last long. Have a great weekend :)

TechnoBabe said...

The part that jumped out at me while reading this post was that you are thankful you have a job that allows you to put the little ones first. I worked jobs and raised three kids and it was very hard to get time off when the emergencies arose with the kids. It was so hard as a mother. I am so happy for you that you at least have that. And how wonderful that the kids love you so much that the best day for them is to get to spend the day with you. Hugs to you, your pain sounds atrocious, I feel for you so much.

Hilary said...

Lori, I'm sorry to hear that you live with chronic pain... but so happy to know that you find your way through it - even while doing the obligatory puke cleanup. Your happy list made me.. happy. The kidlets are gorgeous! :)

Roxy said...

I'm sorry to read about your chronic pain. Yet, I am inspired by your beautiful outlook and attitude. I enjoyed reading your happy's today, and I hope your little ones are feeling better. Have a blessed weekend, Lori. Love and hugs to you :)

LadyFi said...

Oh gosh - it's horrible when the kids are puking. Hopefully a day at home made them feel much much better.

My kids are my happy!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I'm glad the little ones are feeling better - and your happy list made me smile big time! :)

Happy HHF a day late! :)

LPC said...

Hi Lori. Glad you've come out the other side.

Jason, as himself said...

What a great attitude! Thanks for the reminder.

Sorry about all the puke and the pain and stuff.

Buckeroomama said...

I hope the coming days and weeks will be much better for your little ones and for you, health-wise.

Reading your happy list always make me smile.

Have a super week with the three little rascals. :)

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You are always an inpiration to me. Even thru your pain, you find great things to be happy about. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Hugs,
SMB

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh, the attitude you have is so wonderful. You make me thankful! And I ADORE that the children were happy they were sick so they could spend the day with you. That is too sweet! And I am so excited your grandson is coming. How wonderful!