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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Threats and Bribery

If you are a parent and ever been sick, then you know what a trip it is to care for little people while you are sick….you know the kind of sick when you can barely lift up your own head, every single bone in your body aches, everything from your eyes to your throat hurts, chills, fever, cough, stuffed up head, kind of sick? The too sick to go to work kind of sick? Such was the case this past week.

This has been no spring break. While I was sick, and home alone with two little people, I came to realize some things, other than the fact of being reminded what it’s like to be sick while having little ones around...oh how soon one forgets these kinds of things!

Things I learned this week or was reminded of rather quickly...

1. By not watching TV during the day, or in the middle of the night, I have not been missing anything.

2. I watched a lot of children programs with my little people in order to keep them entertained and in one spot for longer than 5 minutes. I cannot believe the amount of programs made for children and how utterly irritating most of them are. While my little people were utterly fascinated with these programs that they have rarely seen, if ever, I wanted to poke my eye’s and ear’s out with pencils.

3. All I ate for almost 4 days was chicken soup. I am not used to eating soup out of a can or box so I never realized how differently the various brands tasted from one another. I don’t ever want to eat cheap generic chicken soup again. Ever.

4. Closing my eyes sends out signals. If I closed my eyes for longer than a couple of minutes, it seemed to be a signal to the little people to do those things they know they shouldn't do, which thankfully was loud enough to alert me to their shenanigans.

5. My phone rings a lot when I am not at home and whom ever is calling does not leave messages. I am guessing telemarketers? I was too sick to answer, and this bugged the crap out of the little people. Every single time the phone rang, I swear to God they screamed into my ear that the phone was ringing and then ran to the phone and stood there to listen to the answering machine play…and then back again to tell me that it was daddy calling. They just think it’s him because it’s his voice on the answering machine message.

6. I will never use toilet paper as tissue again. Kleenex with lotion in them is the only way to go.

7. Being sick the week before the Easter bunny is suppose to pay us a visit, worked to my advantage. I never thought I would stoop to the level of making numerous warnings daily, that the Easter bunny could be looking in our windows right now and he would know if they were good or not. Or to making bribes with getting to color eggs and getting to go outside if they would just play quietly in their rooms. Sometimes bribery, threats and warnings work.

8. Fruit snacks, fish crackers and cookies can not only be used as bribery but provide entertainment which keeps little people occupied for quite some time.

9. Having the little people play in a bubble bath while I lay down on the floor, bundled in blankets, next to the bath tub, provided them with a good hour of fun but next time I would cover myself with plastic.

10. The little people can run 37 laps around the house(inside of course) without stopping… and go up and down the basement stairs 7 times without stopping. It made me tired just watching them but they had a blast and it wore them out…although I must say that their chanting and shrieks made my head just about explode.

11. Why does it seem that the hours just creep by ever so slowly except for during nap time?

12. At the end of the day, I think I was happier than the little people, to see my husband walk through the door.

Now that I feel much better I can look back at some of these moments and laugh but at the time, not so much. I swear to God there were moments that I wanted to throw out the white flag. Just so you know, I came through on the bribes to go outside, later this afternoon and we colored eggs after supper.

Hopefully, now that the week is about over, things can get back to normal. I get to go to work tomorrow and the kids get to go to daycare. I don't know who is happier, them or me!

What kinds of tricks or bribes did you use when your kids were/are sick?


Twenty Four At Heart said...

It's awful being sick and having to take care of other people. Ugh! Your post brought back some bad memories. Fortunately, mine are old enough to manage on their own (even if they don't want to) if I'm feeling bad. The first 2 years post car accident were a nightmare though ....

The Incredible Woody said...

I am so glad that you are feeling better!

Life with Kaishon said...

I am so glad you are ok now! That is just the absolute worst! I use bribes and treats ALL the time! I would NEVER be nominated for Mother of the Year. I think I would nominate you though! Raising grandchildren like your very own...that is basically Sainthood! Happy Easter!

Bina said...

You are so funny. I'm sure you didn't think so at the time.

But so many things rang true. Little kids HAVE to let you know the phone is ringing, like they are the only ones that can hear it, right???

And also, they DO have a sense of the eyes closing on adults. It alerts them to immediate destruction! LOL

I'm glad you are feeling better, and I'm so sorry you were sick for so long!

Busy Bee Suz said...

You poor thing!!! I wish someone was home to help you out!!!
YOu did make me laugh though...they are funny kids. The phone? ughhhg.

Gosh, it has been so long since I have had to bribe...I can't remember. Maybe a movie? Cookies?

Jan said...

Oh, I'm so glad you're feeling well enough to go back to work! I've been worried about you.

As for the bribery, it's been so long since I've had very small children to bribe that I really can't remember.

I'm so old.

Kathryn Magendie said...

I hope you are better better better!

It's been a long time since mine was a little one,but I remember those days ! lawd!

Jeannie said...

I was always home with the kids. When I was sick, I kinda felt like it was a holiday - I didn't do the housework or cook from scratch. The kids played quieter for me and loved that I would watch TV with them. The kids shows weren't totally annoying then - at least the Canadian ones were good. Guess it all depends on what "normal" is like.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Oh you poor thing. At least with grown teens, I got to spend my sick week sleeping. I forgot how different it is with little ones around.

Mine's a stopmach flu. Hope you are feeling better today Lori.

Jason, as himself said...

I'm so glad you're feeling better. Luckily I've had help whenever I've been sick, otherwise, I don't know what I would have done---especially with some of my bouts with strep throat!!!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You poor thing. I remember what it was like to still have to take care of little ones when I was sick. It always seemed that at least one of mine would get sick while I was sick to make matters even worse. I'm glad you're feeling better and hope you're back 100% soon.

bernthis said...

oh NOTHING is worse than feeling like crap and having to care for a small child. I'd sooner climb Mt. Everest in Sneakers and a tank top

Midlife Mama said...

Man it is so hard being *THAT* sick and having to care for little ones. I feel your pain. Since I raised my kids as a single parent, I have been there, done that, and did not have anyone coming through the door at the end of the day to help out.

Glad you're feeling better and getting back to normal.

LPC said...

Oh your grandchildren are SO CUTE!!! I imagine that you were so sick you almost didn't notice:)?


Laura said...

Glad that you're feeling better. Sounds like spring break from fluland.

One of the best things in life is having independent kids who know how to go into their rooms and occupy themselves without mommy the hovercraft. It works less well when they are beyond dolls and start making their own decisions. But we weren't talking about that.

Have a happy and healthy Easter.

D'Arcy said...

Bribe away, bribe away! I bribe my students with extra credit and parties and movies...they'll do anything for extra credit.

So sorry you were SO SO sick! How awful!! I hope you are doing better, and NEVER eat that chicken soup again!

Anonymous said...

I just had to laugh with sympathy because I remember all too well those days. That is why I try to make sure to take care of my grandkids when their parents are ill so they don't have to go through this. I can't always do it but I try. If I was close enough to you I would help you out.