Another Marvelous Monday

As I stepped out into this perfect fall morning to walk little man to his bus stop, the cool crisp 40 some degrees felt refreshing. Even though it will warm up into the 60’s today, it won’t be long and that number will be closer to 0.

With each step you could hear the crunch of the acorns underneath our feet. The beautiful shining sun…a perfectly shade of blue sky…the squirrels chasing each other…birds singing to us as we walked…a rabbit hopping across a lawn..the quiet stillness of a new day beginning…I breathed in the fresh air and for a couple of moments I just took all of this goodness in.

Little mans hand tightly in mine as we walked in silence for those few moments. I broke the silence by saying to him,”Isn’t this a marvelous Monday?” He remained quiet as if in thought and then said, “Yes, but it would be more marvelous if you were coming with me to school.”

Of course he didn’t like my answer and of course he got on the bus without me…he will be just fine as he starts another week of school.

As I walked back home alone, I wrapped myself around the peace & beauty. We really do live in a beautiful place. For the most part our rural community is safe and has very little crime. 

The big corporate farms haven’t taken over the small farmers. There are people that still don’t lock their doors at night. Kids still run around and play through the neighborhoods. People know your name when you go into the drug store. We still have 2 full service gas stations…yep they still pump your gas, wash your windows and check your tires or oil if you ask them to.

My travel to work take me by cows, goats and horses and rolling fields of hay,corn, wheat and beans, big red barns, tractors and combines working to harvest. 

Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I take all of this for granted. Sometimes I am so focused on doing or on what needs to be done, that I miss what is before me.

It’s another marvelous Monday & today I am going to enjoy & appreciate the gifts that fill up my day.

I hope you and yours have a marvelous Monday! What will fill up your Monday?

Until next time, hugs & love, Lori

I Love…

I love…

…lazy relaxed weekend mornings, to just enjoy all that is in this moment…the little’s so sweet with their affections & hearing their cartoons in the background…my husband making me coffee & really getting to enjoy it with him…and later enjoying the wonderful breakfast he makes us, which in all honesty is no different then what I make but it tastes so good when someone else makes it…no hurrying or scrambling about to get things done or to get somewhere. Us, just being together. I love to wrap myself in these simple priceless moments.

…the smell of tomatoes, onions and garlic roasting in my oven mixed with the smell of fresh air flowing through the open windows…yum.

… making tomato soup with the roasted goodness mentioned above and seeing my family love it.

…the smell of sourdough bread baking in the oven…and using it to make grilled cheese sandwiches to dunk into the roasted tomato soup. (darn bread making…when I’m trying not to eat breads...)

…the wonderful taste of my homemade yogurt…and that it is so darn easy to make.

…friends that call because they know you will listen & understand.

…friends that call for no reason.

…when little lady call’s me her beautiful little mommy numerous times a day… because I am not feeling so beautiful or little these days.

…seeing my little’s smile for no other reason then just being happy.

…that my daughter & her son are here and that I get to be her cheerleader and she is mine.

…football…cheering for my favorite teams along with my family…hearing the little’s scream “Goooo Vikings!” as they jump up & down is priceless.

…that it is fall…which means cooler temps…can all the  hormonal women that understand what I mean by this, give me a loud amen? :)

…campfires, playing football outside with the little’s, and looking forward to the beauty that will soon surround us with all the changing colors.

…the sound of my adult children’s voices when they call me just to talk or to tell me what’s going on in their lives...my mother heart is aching for them since it’s been a year since I last hugged them in person but I love that they are happily living their lives.

…that I live in a land where I am free to love God, can choose where I want to live, have an abundance of food to cook with and don’t have to fear for our lives as we walk down the street.

Most of all, I love that I am no longer living my life as a victim or just surviving but actually living life.

I am constantly reminded of where I once was and what I’ve been through.

I cannot help but feel grateful that the lessons that have come into my life have been of much value for me today. Even though they came at a price, they did not destroy me and instead prepared me to live my life fully and without regrets.

It’s because of this, that I can enjoy and love so many of the simple things in life.

Of course, I love all of you too. Really.

Tell me…what do you love?

Hope you get a chance to do something you love today.

Until next time, love & hugs, Lori

 

 

Two Women

Last night I had the pleasure of meeting the sweetest elderly woman at a Kinship care support group. (It’s a group for people raising relative children)

I hadn’t planned on going. Actually I had forgotten but remembered later that morning.

I really wanted to stay home and watch football. Did I really want to make the 45 minute drive?

I was exhausted and drained but something told me I needed to go.

Or was it my daughter, saying, “Mom, your really need to take care of yourself.  So go!” ?

It meant leaving crying children with my daughter, since my husband was still working but I went. It was only my 2nd time going so I was a little nervous.

I sat next to this sweetest elderly woman. She shared with me that her and her husband are raising their 9 year old grandson and almost 11 year old granddaughter. Then she whispers to me, “I’m going to be 71 tomorrow.”, with a big smile on her face.

She is beautiful. I can tell that she was beautiful in the worldly sense in her younger years. Now, that beauty is much more refined. The lines on her face tell a story.

She is 71 years old today and raising 2  children. Amazing.

As she shared her story with me, I felt so blessed to be sitting next to this wise woman.

I was exactly where I was suppose to be.

She was this beautiful angel that was sent to give me a message…and to make me laugh.

Her words breathed such comfort into my aching heart.

She was like a cold drink of water for my dry thirsty desire to be understood.

I am not walking this road alone.

Her eyes, though tired, sparkled as they looked into mine with understanding. No words needed to be spoken.

As we parted, I wished her happy birthday once more and wished her well until we meet again.

I am so thankful I went…for my daughter that made it possible…and we even got 30 minute chair massages from students attending a massage school. Woot! Woot!

When I woke this morning, the first thing I thought about was my new friend and sent out a birthday blessing for her.

And then I thought of another special friend.

I have another dear friend that turned 82 today. We almost lost her a couple of months ago, so this birthday was extra special.

She is one of the most dearest, sweetest, kindest, gentle, graceful and  loving woman I’ve ever known.

She is beautiful. Yes, she has lost her youth..but it’s these wrinkles that are etched into her face that deepen her beauty. They tell a story of life and of loving.

The beauty of her wisdom is amazing…her blessing me with the knowledge she has gained from having walked this earth these years before me, are a priceless gift.

Most of the things I’ve learned from her did not come out of her mouth but by the way she’s lived.

I am still learning from her.

Today we celebrated with her, over lunch that we brought to her at the nursing home in which she lives. Our intent had been to take her out but she was too weak. Still, her smile lit up the room as we sat around her. When they fill up with tears over the joy she felt, it is hard not to cry myself. What a priceless gift she is to me and it’s not my birthday.

Two beautiful elderly woman with birthday’s today. Two women, that are beautiful beyond words and worldly beauty. Two women, that the world was made better by their existence.

Two women that have changed my mind about what beauty looks like.

Some day, I hope I am beautiful like them.

Even though the day is almost over, Happy Birthday you sweet beautiful women.

I hope that you have the honor of knowing someone older and wiser then yourself. I hope you recognize the beauty and value in such people in your life.

Happy weekend to you & yours.

Until next time, love & hugs, Lori

 

Anger

I am so angry I could spit.

If you know me at all, you know it takes a lot to get me angry.

I am angry because little man stands to be hurt by someone’s selfishness.

I am frustrated that she is unable to be an adult and act in his best interest.

We can talk with her until we are blue in the face about his needs and it is like talking to the wall.

To make a long frustrating story short, until yesterday, we believed little man’s last name to be the same as ours because that is the name that was on the birth certificate that she gave us when we gained custody. This is the only name he knows. 

Upon investigating, we found out that his legal last name is that of his supposed birth father…someone that doesn’t want anything to do with him and there is a discrepancy over whether he is in fact the father…as far as we know he is in prison and his birth mother does not want him to have contact with little man because of being an unfit father. Anyone else see the irony in this?

The cat got out of the bag only because little man started school and there were some issues with the birth certificate we had. Thankfully we found this out. 

We got the papers to change his legal last name immediately and figured this would not be a big issue since my step daughter had agreed the night before that it would be in his best interest to have the same last name as his family.

We guessed wrong. She changed her mind. She decided yesterday that she doesn’t want to lose this tie with the father. What in the hell? A father she doesn’t want in his life…a father that we will one day have to explain to little man about.

We tried to help her see his pain of fitting in and his wanting to just belong. He already struggles with being different from the rest of us. Every other week he asks if some day he could look like us. And now she wants to add another thing for him to struggle with, that would set him apart from the rest of us.

And all for no good reasons or purpose.

If she had good reasons…if she could show us that this is not in his best interests…then we could stop and work things out together.

Her response to everything we talked to her about was, “I don’t care.”

How in God’s name can she not care?

Can’t he just have this happiness?

Why can’t she let them be happy?

I am so angry I have tears.

Children should not have to endure the selfishness of adults.

I have been doing “this” for over 4 years and you would think I would be used to her games. I’m not.

Does anyone have a clue to how hard we have worked to not only protect them from her but at the same time given them a relationship with her?

How hard we have prayed and cried over her? How hard we have tried to give these little one’s a happy safe family life?

When does it end? When can we breathe a sigh of relief and just be happy?

To some, it’s just a name. To my little man, it’s far more than a name…it’s about not being different and being the same as those he loves and lives with.

It really doesn’t matter to me if he were to have a different last name…he would still be my little boy and I wouldn’t love him any less…but it matters to him…and because of that it matters to us. 

We will not stop pursuing this name change because we know it’s in his best interest.

After talking with the principle, teacher and social worker, they have agreed to let him keep using the name he knows, in the classroom, as long as we are working towards making it legal.

Thank God.

My heart is raw with emotions. It’s my day off and I have not accomplished what I needed to. All I want to do is hold these little’s close to me and chase away anything or anyone that puts them in danger of getting hurt.

You would think we would need to protect them from the world the most but instead it’s from someone that is related to them…someone that should care. 

I try to focus on the good…the fact that they are safe with us…the fact that she only has supervised visits…the fact that they are so happy and healthy. Still my mother heart aches.

Until next time, love & hugs, Lori

 

 

This is the day

Today is the day!

This little guy starts Kindergarten today.

After reassuring him and stomping out any fears he had, he became quite excited about this new adventure.

Me? Not so much. Don’t worry, I kept it hidden. :)

I’ve already done “this” 5 times so I should be a pro at it. Not so much.

Nonetheless I put on my big girl pants and did not shed a tear in front of him.

I made him a good breakfast and made sure he had everything he needs to bring with him.

He had a big smile on his face, even though we had to walk in the cool rain to his bus stop.

Of course we couldn’t do “this” without the other 2 little people.

He looked so small as he walked up the steps of the bus.

My little man is growing up and his world grows bigger today.

I pray. I hope…that this world is good to him.

I hope that those of you that have children in school already or starting school today, that they have a fantastic year of learning.

Here’s to all the teachers that will teach them. Here’s to all the other important people that work at schools with children. Here’s to the bus drivers that drive them to & from school. And here’s to the homeschooling Mom’s & Dad’s too. May all of you be given an extra dose of patience & love for these young lives that you will indeed touch. 

I’m off to shed those tears on my way to work. :(

Until next time, love & hugs, Lori

PS My wedding smore cupcakes were a hit! As soon as I have pictures of the wedding cupcake display that I did this past weekend, I will post a  picture and the recipe for those that have asked for it!

 

Wedding Smores

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

Tomorrow someone very dear to me is getting married. I had the pleasure of caring for her and her siblings in my daycare. Being their 2nd mom over the years has been a blessing and has bonded our 2 families. I have been blessed to watch each one of them grow up to be fine young adults. In fact the youngest graduated with my youngest son and she has been his best friend since they were in diapers.

The above quote has been one of my inspirations & motto’s.  When I read it this morning, I was instantly reminded of this young woman and her siblings. Over the years, any time I see any one of them, they  smile big and embrace me. They introduce me as their 2nd mom. What an honor!

About a month ago we had a bridal shower for this young lady getting married and I made these smore cupcakes for it. They really taste like smores.

She loved them and because they had decided to not have a traditional wedding cake, asked me to help her make these for her wedding. These were a perfect choice considering that the 2 of them do a lot of camping, fishing and out door stuff…not to mention that they love smores.

Of course, I said I would love to help.

What is really neat about this couple is that they are so in love and are making this wedding about them instead of following traditional wedding stuff that doesn’t mean anything to them.

Earlier this week, I realized that the bride had a zillion things to do this last week before her wedding. Of course she does. So of course I had to offer to make them all by myself….for 250 wedding guests. Am I craaaaazzzzy?

Don’t answer that.

You know I’m not a professional baker or cake decorator right?

Right about now, you might be calling me a professional crazy person.

Well, that might be my daughter calling me that.

Of course, I volunteered that crazy calling daughter to help me.

That daughter  will leave later today to go spend the night with the bride since she is her personal attendant. So of course I volunteered my husband to help put on the frosting….and to contemplate how we will transport all of them to the brides parents home where the reception will be.

Thankfully I have a van. :)

Today I will be spending the entire day in the kitchen baking cup cakes of different sizes, frosting them and putting the finishing touches on the cup cake display stand.

Thankfully it is cool outside(55) with an expected high of low 60’s, so that it will feel good to run my oven all day.

I have a 3, 4 and 5 year old that think they are helping. Of course I have other plans for them…like not destroying the rest of the house while I am busy making a messy kitchen.

Did I mention I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the wedding? :)

You should see the abundance of flour, baking cocoa, sugar, butter, eggs, oil,  marshmallow cream, chocolate kisses…ect… that have taken up residence in my kitchen.

They are calling my name but first I have some little’s to feed & shoo out of the kitchen.

I have until tomorrow afternoon to accomplish this crazy task.

Please pray.

This might be an interesting day/night.

I am thinking perfectly positive of a beautifully displayed end result.

I may joke but in all honesty it is an honor to do this for such  special people.

Of course, I will breathe a sigh of relief tomorrow when I sit with a glass of wine at this wonderful event of 2 people so in love that they are so excited to say “I do.” and just want to get to the part of being married.

Until then, I will be buried in all things chocolate and marshmallow.

I hope whatever you do this weekend, you find joy in it. Laugh. Smile. Hug.  Say, “I love you.” Remember, it’s how we make others feel that they will remember.

All righty then…time is a wasting…what am I still doing on the computer?…ready, set, go!

Until the cupcakes are baked & frosted…love & hugs, Lori

A Dozen

A dozen things that are making me smile…in no particular order…

1. You. In all seriousness, your love, kindness and support that you write to me, brings a smile to my face. Most of the time, what you write or the pictures you post, make me smile or laugh. On the occasions that you make me think or cry, please know that even then I am blessed to have shared in your words. Thank you!

2. Fall. The cooler weather & lack of humidity. I am so happy that fall is around the corner. I love the changing colors, the campfires and freshness outside.

3. Football. As in Gophers & Vikings. Just writing this makes me giddy with excitement.

4. Having a husband that doesn’t consider cleaning or the laundry a woman’s only job. He does these things without thinking he deserves a pat on the back.

5. When my little lady said to me tonight…” I was thinking that daddy could sleep in my bed and I could sleep with you in your bed and we could all be very very haaaappy about this!” Nice try little girl.

6. Being happily greeted by a 3, 4 and 5 year olds every single time I come home.

7. Tomatoes from our garden. I have been roasting them with garlic & onions and other veggies. The flavor is beyond this world. It will be so nice to pull jars of this out to eat this winter.

8. Peace & quiet in my home. Even if I have to stay up to have it.  I am writing this when I should be sleeping. I would curse that cup of coffee I had too late in the day but I’m watching & listening to the most amazing thunderstorm as I write and read blogs.

9. My granddaughter. She started middle school a couple of weeks ago and she is loving it. She went from a really small charter school to a big middle school. Hearing her talk with excitement about her classes and new friends makes me so happy.(and relieved)

10. Yogurt. I started out making yogurt in a yogurt maker that I got from my sister. Now I am making it in other ways too because I couldn’t keep up with the demand. It is so fun & easy and yummy. Seriously, you don’t need a yogurt maker.

11. Organic raw milk and eggs…and at a very affordable price. It also makes the best yogurt! We get it from the nicest farmers and every time I leave their farm I smile out of feeling so blessed.

12. A beautiful elderly woman. Just being in her presence  reminds me of what is most important in this life. At the top of that list is people.

Last but not least…and yes I know this makes 13…going to sleep while it is raining & thundering, while in the comfort of my home, knowing that my family is safely sleeping…knowing all is well within these walls.

What would be on your list of things that make you smile?

I hope that no matter how your day is, or what is going on in your life, that you find something to smile about today.

Until next time, hugs & love, Lori