In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

No Boys Allowed

What should one do when life serves up a shit sandwich? Say, “No thank you, I’ll take the ignorant bliss instead please.” ? Or just pretend it’s not a shit sandwich and eat it with a smile on our faces anyways? Or throw myself a grand ole pity party? Or write a long post in an effort to still my mind?

For my husband to complain about something that is going on with him, I know it must be bad because he rarely ever does. So when he told me about some issues he is having I encouraged him to see the doctor right away. He didn’t want to go because we don’t have insurance. (The little’s qualify for insurance through the state so they are covered.) He went yesterday and found out he needs surgery. After said surgery he cannot work for a minimum of 6 weeks.

At least 6 weeks with no money other than my measly checks coming in a little money we get for raising the little’s.

His job requires constant lifting of heavy crates which is what caused this to happen. This means his boss needs to find someone to replace him for this period of time. The good in this is that his boss is going to find out just how much my husband does in his 12-14 hour days and I will be very surprised if he can find someone who is as fast and efficient as my husband. Plus there will be someone trained to do his route should he ever want some time off in the future. The only time he has had off in 4 years is when we went to my daughters wedding in Florida. And it took the guy that replaced him during that time, twice as long to do his route and his route has grown a lot since back then.

Or maybe it’s time for him to find a different job since that is something he has talked about doing for the last couple of years?

The reason we don’t have insurance is because we cannot afford it. Before getting the little’s, my husband had insurance even though it cost an arm and a leg. We all know raising children even in the frugal manner that we live, is not cheap. Taking the little’s has meant the sacrifice of things like insurance, new clothes and going out for entertainment. This goes without saying that they are without a doubt worth ever single sacrifice.

I just wish we could figure out a way to make ends meet and afford these extra things, like insurance. Ever since I got hurt, my earning ability has been severely cut. Had I not gotten hurt, I would have moved up in the company I worked for, would have insurance for myself and family, and my earning potential would be double of what it is now. The bonus was that I loved this job that I was passionate about and seen myself in it for the long haul. Instead I am only allowed to work two 7 hour days in a week. Since my workers compensation does not have to supplement my income anymore because it ran out a long time ago, my ability to help make these ends meet, is very little.

Do not get me wrong, I love what I do now. In fact, I would say I am passionate about being a personal care giver. I love and respect the woman I care for. I love that I am getting this time at home with the little’s. I love that I am feeling a little bit less pain now that I am not working as much. Ssshhh don’t tell my husband that I said that because I offered to call my doctor and request that he remove all restrictions so that I could work at least full time. Then at least we would have some money coming in while he can’t work. He would hear none of this.

The thing is, I feel guilty that all of this falls on his shoulders. He never ever complains and not for one second has he ever made me feel badly for having this injury. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Now that he has been having some pain he says to me, “My god, how you live with pain and are still able to smile every single day is beyond me.”

One nice thing about not having extra money is that I do not have to go Christmas shopping. When my work hours got cut a few months ago we decided back then that we would not go into debt for Christmas. Now that this is happening we simply cannot afford to take money from our savings for frivolous things. Of course Santa will still come with a gift or two for the little’s,thanks to one of you angel’s that sent a gift card our way without even knowing any of this was going on.

Don’t get me wrong, I love buying gifts for people. I just don’t like the shopping part. I would be lying if I said that not getting to buy Christmas gifts for my children and grandchildren didn’t bother me. It would greatly help if they were all selfish brats that expected and begged for things. Instead they say things like, “Oh Mom it’s not a big deal.” or “That’s not what Christmas is about Mom.” or “Grandma do you need me to give you some money or for me to share some of my gifts with you?” Instead they are to darn sweet and understanding which only makes me want to buy something special for them. Darn kids.

Instead, our plans are to get busy in the kitchen, work some of our magic and make some gifts for our loved ones, since we already have most of the ingredients on hand anyways. Sending off some of our homemade love to those we are crazy about will give  little “Rachel Ray” and “Emeril” a fun time in the kitchen. If you didn’t already know the little pretend to be Rachel and Emeril. 

I am concerned about how we are going to live during this time of him not being able to work. I am concerned about how all of this is going to play out over the next couple of months. I am concerned that this stress is going to affect making this a joyful magical Christmas for the little’s.

The weight of the worry about my husbands health is above all else, so take my house and van, take our material processions, take the internet, cable and telephones but please God don’t take my husband. I could live without those other things but I don’t want to live without him. I could if I had to, but I don’t want to. 

Please, please, please do not think I share this with you so that you feel sorry for us. I share this with you because I need your encouragement and support of prayer(If you’re someone who prays) and I just really needed to lay this all out.

I lay out all of these worries or concerns and yet I know without a doubt how blessed we are and really we have so much. I do believe all things happen for a purpose whether we can see it or not. I also know that worry or panicking will not help us.

An ambulance siren is going off as I type and I stop to pray for whoever is hurt or sick and I am reminded it could be worse …we are in a warm home in the midst of the snow and cold…we have food to prepare and eat…our home is full of much more than material things…love abounds…abundance surrounds us…all to remind me that we will be fine.

A birthday party is coming and we have  been invited to come just as we are.  Worry and stress are not invited.  Time to decorate. Time to hang the balloons and banners. Time to prepare the gifts that we will bring to the guest of honor. Time to make merry and enjoy all that is. Time to be still and know that all is well.

It is the season of peace & joy and good will towards all men. I am determined that they will reign in this home and in my heart.

To end on a lighter note, I share with you another glimpse into life with the little’s.

When I walked by little lady’s bedroom last evening, I seen this taped on the outside of her bedroom door…


Let me translate what this sign means. No boys allowed. How she comes up with this stuff is beyond me.

Of course little man had to retaliate by hanging up his own sign on his bedroom door…


He informed me that he was so happy with the girl that he drew that he didn’t want to cover it up with an X so he put the X above the girl but that it still means no girls allowed in his room except for me. Lucky me.

I told them that it might make Santa sad that they were not going to be sharing their toys anymore. Little lady’s reply was, “Well, Santa’s a boy so he can’t come into my room either.”

Little man didn’t respond until he woke me up at 5:45 am this morning to tell me that he had taken down his sign so that Santa wouldn’t be sad.

Little lady informed me this morning that she is pretty sure that Santa is too busy right now to fly over us to check up on them so the sign is staying.

It’s a darn good thing we have a sense of humor at this house.

Tis the season to be jolly.

Thank you for listening and your prayers are deeply appreciated.

Until next time, love & hugs, Lori










Hilary said...

Thinking of you and yours, and sending best thoughts your way.

LPC said...

Lori. That is awful. I wish I knew what to do. Hope for good outcomes, I suppose, but I wish there were more.

Anonymous said...

I could never, ever feel sorry for you! I love you too much.

BTW, you have an email from me.


The Incredible Woody said...

I wish that I had a magic wand and could take all the pain and troubles away. But I can't so I will do what I can. I will pray. And I will keep you near to my heart.....

blueviolet said...

So funny he didn't want to cover up the drawing and that they have a war of the sexes going on.

I hope things work out with the insurance and needed surgery. I'm without insurance too, and it's so scary. I'm sorry.

Natalie said...

I think that you are one of God's special helpers, so you need a support team while you are here on Earth. I don't think your support would be removed from you.

In regard to LL ~ She cracks me up! I have a similar one sitting next to me right now. I hear you!!!!!!!!
ALSO, I will pray for Hubby and send healing as well as love.♥

Tricia said...

Thinking of you and sending lots and lots of virtual hugs!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Lori! I hope there can be some workman's comp for your husband, esp. since he has this pain because of his job.
And prayers.
And smiles because those little ones are so darned cute!

Stella said...

The littles are growing up! Soon they won't be so little. I love you Lori! You're always so positive, even when it is hard to be. My parents are in a similar situation and they are not doing Christmas this year (or the past three years)--instead, we all give a very small some to someone probably in just as much need as us, but it feels good to give it anyway!

love to you and your husband, I hope he will have a very quick recovery!

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh Lori. I will pray. Pray for a miracle. Sending love.

Brian Miller said...

ugh....thoughts and prayers taht it all works out...and cute signs...smiles.

Anonymous said...

Oh Lori - I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. Doesn't his job cover him with their insurance?

I think that baking up a storm in the kitchen and giving goodies as presents is a wonderful idea!

You are all in my thoughts. Stay strong and happy!

slommler said...

I totally believe in the power of prayer and you and yours will have mine for sure!
The season is about love and caring and peace and joy!! You have that in abundance.
Hugging you

Buckeroomama said...

Offering up prayers for you and your family.

On a brighter note... for the littles --check out

That will give them a personalized message from Santa himself. You should've seen the look of awe and wonder on J's and Z's faces when they saw and heard Santa talking to them and seeing how Santa has their pictures in his book. =)

SciFi Dad said...

I'll have a good thought for your husband and your family.

I'm sorry.

Jeni said...

It does suck -majorly -when things like this happen to us and knock the wind out of our sails, even if those sails were already a bit raggedy and precarious. But with faith, prayer and perseverance somehow or other, we manage to muddle through. Little things -blessings from wherever -show up and it may not be as much as we need, but it will be enough to provide a little extra. That's what I keep telling myself, year after year, since I haven't yet won the lottery to give myself and my family the financial freedom I think we need. Someday, I'll have to tell you about my reaction to the news of my younger daughter's first child (7 years ago) -a bit like the dilemma you feel you and your husband are in right now. Hope all goes well for your husband with the surgery -which is really the uppermost worry, I'm sure, in your mind right now. Prayers for you and him as you cope with this event.

Zella said...

Hi Lori - I love the way you find silver lining even in the darkest cloud, and I absolutely believe that people with this kind of attitude will come out of all struggles stronger, more appreciative all things that most of us take for granted..... I am sending you super powers and love, and I am dreaming of a Christmas miracle that will take the stress and concern away from you and your family. Hugs.

P.S. how adorable are those drawings !

Suldog said...


I'll certainly say a prayer, as soon as this posts.

Not that it helps in any way, but I've added you to my blogroll.

deb said...

oh, Lori.
prayers .

you have such a good soul.

Just Be Real said...


Joanna Jenkins said...

You have more than your share of issues this year. I am so sorry to hear your husband needs surgery and will be out of work for an extended period of time. I'm sending positive healing thoughts his way and praying for a full and complete recovery.

xoxox jj

Loz said...

Makes me grateful I live in Oz - universal health care and workers comp - I wish you all the best

Busy Bee Suz said...

Love and prayers for you and your family Lori.
I have a feeling something good will come...'cause you deserve it.

Kathryn Magendie said...

sending you an email Lori

Unknown Mami said...

Oh boy! You've got a lot on your plate. While reading this, I did not for one second feel sorry for you. What I did feel was compassion. I'm sending you love and hoping for the best. Hang in there.

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Oh Lori, it broke my heart to read this and yet I was amazed to at your spirit. Joining you in prayer across the miles and holding you close....May your faith and love see you through.

Just Be Real said...

Came back by to give you another ((((Lori)))) and thinking about you.

♥ Braja said...

I love your spirit, my girl...I really do. Especially your conclusion about how it's a good thing cos then you don't have to buy Xmas presents :))

And btw? No one could "feel sorry" for you after reading that; it makes my heart sing that there's people out there like you and I love it :))

Colleen said...

First Lori, your little ones are hilarious! I love them and can just imagine them both with so much bold character and humor!
Second, I am thinking of you and praying for you. I pray that something will just work out perfectly for your precious family. You are strong and willing and it really touched me to read that in your home you have love in abundance because it is SO true. God bless you during this season.
Love Colleen

beth said...

my thoughts are with you all of you and i'm sending some good mojo your way.....

Michelle said...

I love the girl-boy sign wars. Too cute!!

Wishing you all a blessed Christmas.


Michelle said...

PS... I've quoted you in my latest blog post. Hope you're ok with that? Let me know. x