Alive & Kicking

Hello, is anyone still here?

I am still alive & kicking. 

No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. No, I haven’t forgotten about any of you. No, my love for writing hasn’t stopped. No, I haven’t given up.

Instead I have been kicking, scratching, screaming and fighting like hell to get back up to the surface. I am starting to see the light of day and that’s a good thing.

The health problems of this past year have kicked my ass. Literally. This has been one shit sandwich that came served on a platter.

I started seeing this wonderful naturopathic doctor who thought I needed to see a medical doctor for issues that went beyond what he could help me with.

Thankfully I found this wonderful medical doctor right out my back door…a country doctor that doesn’t charge an arm & a leg for her services AND she spends a good amount of time with her patients AND she is great at what she does AND she also believes in natural remedies AND she still makes house calls! Amazing!

Many tests and trial’s and error’s later, I have been getting some answers.

The two of them have been working to get me well. I feel blessed to have found both of them even though I haven’t always liked what they have to say. Such as…

*No exercising until I am much better.

*No dieting. In fact I’m suppose to be eating more fat! Hard to do when all I want to do is lose this weight.

*Cutting work hours…that’s hard to do when you need a paycheck.

*Rest as much as possible…with the little’s around? In fact, I’m suppose to be a couch potato…ugh.

*Take my medicines…even if they taste nasty.

*Cry…to start feeling and letting out my emotions…this has been the hardest to follow.

I am still not totally well…in fact the doctors tell me it will be some time yet. If things don’t improve I will have to have my thyroid removed. I started a new medicine for it and now it’s been doubled so all fingers are crossed that this will be the trick.

I’m sick of being exhausted and feeling like I have the flu every single day. I am sad I had to cancel our trip to Florida this month, for my granddaughters graduation to middle school. I am sad that so much of life has passed me by during this time of hardly being able to hold up my head.

BUT…I am thankful to be alive and still kicking. Even though my house has nearly crumbled around me from lack of getting cleaned regularly, it is the least of my worries at this point. I am just thankful in the here and now to have what I have and to have this opportunity to write.

In my efforts to claw my way back up to the top, I have come to realize the value of having one’s health and to be my own advocate in seeking out answers.

On the bright side, I have at least stopped gaining weight. I was eating very healthy and well under 1500 calories and exercising over an hour a day and still gaining weight. Ugh! In less then a year I gained at least 40 pounds people…I doubled in my size of clothes! How is this possible? It feels like I am stuck inside someone else’s body.

I never realized how vain I am until now.  But, that is a post for another day.

There are so many things I’ve wanted to say but not sure how to say them. Losing my voice has left me  disconnected from all of you and my soul has yearned to connect time and time again. God willing there will be another day to write more.

I never really realized how  much I benefited from your words until I no longer had the energy to even read. If I have not been by your place to visit  today, God willing I will be by soon.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring about me and for taking the time to stop and let me know you care. Thank you for not forgetting about me and truly being my friend.

Very soon, I will update you about the little’s!

Love & Hugs, Lori