In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Alive & Kicking

Hello, is anyone still here?

I am still alive & kicking. 

No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. No, I haven’t forgotten about any of you. No, my love for writing hasn’t stopped. No, I haven’t given up.

Instead I have been kicking, scratching, screaming and fighting like hell to get back up to the surface. I am starting to see the light of day and that’s a good thing.

The health problems of this past year have kicked my ass. Literally. This has been one shit sandwich that came served on a platter.

I started seeing this wonderful naturopathic doctor who thought I needed to see a medical doctor for issues that went beyond what he could help me with.

Thankfully I found this wonderful medical doctor right out my back door…a country doctor that doesn’t charge an arm & a leg for her services AND she spends a good amount of time with her patients AND she is great at what she does AND she also believes in natural remedies AND she still makes house calls! Amazing!

Many tests and trial’s and error’s later, I have been getting some answers.

The two of them have been working to get me well. I feel blessed to have found both of them even though I haven’t always liked what they have to say. Such as…

*No exercising until I am much better.

*No dieting. In fact I’m suppose to be eating more fat! Hard to do when all I want to do is lose this weight.

*Cutting work hours…that’s hard to do when you need a paycheck.

*Rest as much as possible…with the little’s around? In fact, I’m suppose to be a couch potato…ugh.

*Take my medicines…even if they taste nasty.

*Cry…to start feeling and letting out my emotions…this has been the hardest to follow.

I am still not totally well…in fact the doctors tell me it will be some time yet. If things don’t improve I will have to have my thyroid removed. I started a new medicine for it and now it’s been doubled so all fingers are crossed that this will be the trick.

I’m sick of being exhausted and feeling like I have the flu every single day. I am sad I had to cancel our trip to Florida this month, for my granddaughters graduation to middle school. I am sad that so much of life has passed me by during this time of hardly being able to hold up my head.

BUT…I am thankful to be alive and still kicking. Even though my house has nearly crumbled around me from lack of getting cleaned regularly, it is the least of my worries at this point. I am just thankful in the here and now to have what I have and to have this opportunity to write.

In my efforts to claw my way back up to the top, I have come to realize the value of having one’s health and to be my own advocate in seeking out answers.

On the bright side, I have at least stopped gaining weight. I was eating very healthy and well under 1500 calories and exercising over an hour a day and still gaining weight. Ugh! In less then a year I gained at least 40 pounds people…I doubled in my size of clothes! How is this possible? It feels like I am stuck inside someone else’s body.

I never realized how vain I am until now.  But, that is a post for another day.

There are so many things I’ve wanted to say but not sure how to say them. Losing my voice has left me  disconnected from all of you and my soul has yearned to connect time and time again. God willing there will be another day to write more.

I never really realized how  much I benefited from your words until I no longer had the energy to even read. If I have not been by your place to visit  today, God willing I will be by soon.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring about me and for taking the time to stop and let me know you care. Thank you for not forgetting about me and truly being my friend.

Very soon, I will update you about the little’s!

Love & Hugs, Lori



Jeannie said...

I'm very glad things are beginning to look up. The last couple years have been a sort of roller coaster for me too if you recall. Once I found myself feeling better, and now that I have a not quite so new any more puppy that requires a good deal of exercise, I am noticing my weight gradually - very gradually - going back down. I'm not attempting to diet other than avoiding that second helping but I notice my strength returning a bit more every day - and I'm sure those muscles are burning a fraction more fuel. I am a few pounds lighter than my heaviest.

You are fortunate to have a supportive doctor. Keep up the good work.

And so glad to have you back again!

TechnoBabe said...

You can't do much if your health isn't good that's for sure. I read your post and it sounds like you are getting proper care so I hope you are able to just feel more energetic and think clearly. I hope you can leave a few posts up once in awhile now so we can hear how you are getting along.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

So happy you are on the road back. I've been wondering about you. Take good care and I hope you feel better each day.

My Aimless Infatuation said...

I missed you woman,glad you are feeling better and hope you improve some each day. Post when you can,you are in my thoughts.

Riahli said...

So good to see your words again.

SciFi Dad said...

Welcome back. I was wondering where you had been.

Kit Kat said...

Oh Lori! I am so glad things seem to be getting better. I pray that they continue in that direction! I can't wait to see you and give you a big hug!

Brian Miller said...

smiles. after the email today i was hoping to hear a bit more...glad you are on the road back...keep smiling...

Natalie said...

Wonderful to hear that you have found such excellent carers.YAY!
I have also missed you! and your wonderful thoughts/ posts. ♥

Buckeroomama said...

Lori, I was so happy to see your name pop up in my inbox! I've missed you and have often dropped by to see if there are any updates. So glad to hear that you are doing better. You take care of yourself, focus on getting "betterer and betterer." {{hugs}}

Ash said...

good of you to find a nice doc who sounds fab! i wish for your speedy recovery. take good care of yourself and follow what the docs say (even though we don't want to!). who's the big kid now? ;)

~ash's mum

Hilary said...

Lori, I'm so happy to see your face making the rounds today. I literally "woohoo"ed when I saw your face in the comments section of my blog.

Try not to worry too much about the weight - you can tackle that another time. You are a beautiful person and a few pounds won't change that.

I'm thrilled to know that you're getting some help. I have little doubt that you'll be back to your old self in no time. Your doctors sound wonderful.

Please keep us posted when you can. I'm looking forward to hearing about you and the Littles.

Hugs to you. :)

Bella said...

Glad to hear you're getting some much needed help, and clawing your way onto Blogger! Nice to see you update.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You made my day! Sooooo glad to see your smiling face on my blog again. You have been in my prayers and I'm so glad you are starting to see the light again.

How you found a doctor that makes house calls is a miracle so that's a great start on your wellness. She sounds fabulous and exactly what you need. I'll keep my fingers crossed that no surgery will be needed and I'll continue to cheer you on.

Thanks a million for stopping by. It's truly good to see you again.

xoxoxoxoxo jj

Anonymous said...

Hey lori, tried to post but it somehow go removed, and can't take my URL anymore... so glad thing are on the up, long may it continue. Great to hear from you, and to hear how things are going, can't imagine how difficult things were/are. I hope the new meds/doctor make a lot of difference.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Just hearing from you is a good thing.
Glad you have found two doctors who can put you in the right direction. I get the vain would be hard to let this go...but you must. For your own good.
Hoping you feel some semblance of normal soon. keep your spirits up...and your chin high.

Debbie said...

I am so glad you are alive and hopefully on the mend. I came by often to see if you were back. Life sure does throw some of us a real curve ball sometimes and it can hit us right square in the head. This was my year too for health problems. I always remembered your post about quitting smoking and your little gadget on the sidebar would inspire me but I couldn't seem to quit. You had said that it was the one thing you didn't have to share with anyone....I loved that and it really hit home. Well, the day after christmas, I had a heart attack because of smoking (they said) and my last cigarette was Dec. 26, 2009!! Thanks to people like you, I was able to NOT pick up that cigarette again! That took courage for you to quit. I suspect it is taking lots of courage to go through what you are going through now too, but I know you have it. gave me some and didn't even know it! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for speaking your mind regarding how doctors are today! Everything you said is very important. I thought it was just me...I swear. Doctors that look right through me...rush me out the door...want to give me a pill for everything....don't want to listen to me...charge an ARM and a LEG and so on....thanks....I get it. I will be praying for you my friend and please...I could use yours too. I have now developed plantar faciitis and am in excruciating pain every day...another new doctor next week...wish me luck!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Hey Lori ; -) I am so sorry that you have faced so much this last year, especially with your health. Am looking forward to you being back up and around. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Just Be Real said...

So glad to see a post from you and that you are receiving help dear one. Blessings to you during this time.

Midnitefyrfly said...

It is good to see you. You have to take time for you. I haven't had the energy to read/write either so I know how you feel about that part. I hope things will keep looking up and you will feel better asap (((HUGS)))

Fragrant Liar said...

Lori, it's so good to "hear" your voice again! You sound great! I know you have more healing to go (we all do on some levels), and I'm proud of you for sticking with it and pulling yourself through. Your inner strength is shining now.

Big hugs to you,

Anonymous said...

Lori, it was wonderful to read your voice again. Sorry that things have been so weighted, but at least you have confidence in the people who are with you--helping you find your way to health. Thoughts, thoughts and prayers are surely accompanying you.

Always, all the best.


Garnetrose said...

I am still here and glad to see you are getting back on track again. I hope the meds work and you are feeling better soon. Take care.

Life with Kaishon said...

I am so thankful for your new Dr. SO so SO thankful! What a great blessing that is Lori! YAY!

About the fat... I am SO fat. Like so fat, if you saw me, you would be sick. I feel like such a failure in this area of my life. I just can not beat it. I have always been fat but now, it is worse than ever! : (

I will pray that you continue to feel better and better! I hope you and the family have a wonderfully happy summer! Much love, becky

Anonymous said...

Lori! You're back! How completely wonderful!

Fat is good for you, my friend - I was thrilled to find that you are drinking whole, raw milk. They say the regenerative and health benefits are unparalleled (and I've been waiting to see if someone else I know drinks it, so I can thumb my nose at all the naysayers).

Hugs to you, dear!


The Incredible Woody said...

I am SO very glad that you are finally getting the help that you needed! And I am also glad just to "hear" your sweet voice again. You are a bright light in the blogosphere:)

Jacquelyn Stager said...

I JUST saw that you are back! Yippee!!!! I can't wait to read all and catch up. So glad you found those two special doctors. I've REALLY missed you, lady!!