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In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.















Tuesday, March 31, 2009

No Shot Glasses

My children have always done a pretty darn good job of keeping me humble and embarrassing me. Children have a way of doing that and my two little people are no different.

On Saturday we went grocery shopping and it was crazy busy. As we were shopping, little man say’s to me, quite loudly, “Mommy, are you getting thirsty for a beer?” WTF?

The people in front of us turned around and looked at me for my answer. I like beer and really like it on a nice hot day in the summer but it’s winter right now so seldom drink it. Quite honestly I am not a big drinker and if I do, it’s after he and little lady go to bed. I answered him with a simple “no” because I knew that no matter what I said, it would make him keep talking about it. And may I add that little lady repeats everything he says. May I also add that while we don't hide that we drink, we don't make an issue of it, nor do we party in front of them.

Then we go down another isle, and little man asks me quite loudly, “Are we going to the liquor store to pick up beer? What direction is the liquor store? Can I go in the liquor store with you? WTF? Little lady of course echo’s her brother so she of course had to scream, “I want to go to the liquor store too!” Dear lord.

This time, all the people down the isle turned and looked
at me or I should say stared at me. Some had smirks. Some looked disapproving. I am sure I looked like no mother of the year. He has never been in a liquor store and I am just not getting his fascination with beer or the liquor store.

So I did what I usually do when he says such ridiculous things to me, I ignored him. I ignore both of them and they stopped.

We checked out and as we walked by the eye glass center, little man says quite loudly and in front of the eye doctor and another worker, “They have glasses. They have sun glasses. But no shot glasses.” WTF? These women’s heads whipped around to stare at me in my embarrassment. I put my hand over his mouth and got them out of there. Dear lord I am too old for this. Dear lord I looked like one of those parents. I'm not...really I'm not.

Just so you know, I asked him what a shot glass was and he didn’t have a clue.

28 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

Too funny!!

Jan said...

Didn't you recently put the Little People in a new daycare? Perhaps one of his new friends wants to be a bartender when he grows up...

Midlife Mama said...

ROFL OMG out of the mouths of babes. Those people in the store probably think you hang out in liquor stores all the time.

And that new daycare? You might want to check out the people running it. Sounds like maybe THEY drink things in shot glasses, talk loudly about wanting a cold beer, and take field trips to liquor stores! While the children are present! That's a little concerning that he is all of a sudden talking about this. Either they are doing it in front of the kids, or they are watching in appropriate TV shows.

SciFi Dad said...

I was going to suggest either a tv show or a new influence like a new friend or something, but I think the other commenters are correct: I'd bring this up with the new daycare.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You always wonder what gets them started on these things. I had forgotten the fun of public embarrassment from toddlers. Great post.

Busy Bee Suz said...

This is seriously very funny...embarrassing for you, but funny for us. I can't believe he said all that....what in the world.
My girls each did a "Dare" program in 5th grade where the sherriff's dept comes in and teaches them all the bad stuff that happens if you drink, used drugs, smoke etc....

I was in one of the "meetings" with the class and my sweeet child had to shout out to the officer that her Mother LOVES to DRINK WINE!!!!!
I could have crawled out on my knees if it would have worked.

I hope you figure out where this new vocabulary is coming from.

LiLu said...

OMG!!! I love it!

I mean, I am so very sorry for your humiliation...

But mostly, I LOVE it.

Jeannie said...

Now, if that happened to me, I'd be laughing my head off and asking him where he heard about liquor stores. What's he been watching on TV? Has he been playing with other kids?

Stepping Thru said...

When my oldest grandson was about 2 1/2 he was very quiet. We wondered if he had a speech problem because he never spoke more than one or two words at a time. We were in W*M one day and I was looking for a sports bra and he announced at the top of his lungs "Look Nana - boobies!" I almost fainted as people turned to stare. When we got to the checkout he announced it again as the checker took out my bra. Where do they come up with some of this stuff? And why do they do it in front of the world?

Riahli said...

Ha, ha...OMGoodness. I have had my share of embarrassing moment with little ones too...they know when to spout off the good ones. I'm blessed with a face that turns bright red when embarrassed to so we turn into quite the spectacle.

Brittany said...

BAHHH HA HA HA HA!!!

I loved it when you told me! Just so ya'll know, I was there when we asked him what a shot glass was..and he totaly didnt know! I think we both needed a shot though after that adventure mom... or wait, a big glass of wine!

love you and miss you

morethananelectrician said...

I love hearing funny stuff like that in the store...I look at the mom (or dad) and just laugh...that was too funny.

skywind said...

So funny. LOL
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D'Arcy said...

I am laughing SO SO SO hard right now. Seriously. Oh my gosh. It's too much.

Man, I needed a good laugh after the day I've had. I bet if I said those things to my Mormon mother (who doesn't really know her daughter enjoys a good glass of wine) she would probably die.

Sweet. So sweet.

Loz said...

If I can be politically incorrect for a moment - maybe they thought they were midgets :)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

that's hilarious! How funny!

Tricia said...

This is so funny. Where do they come up with this little obsessions?

SSG said...

hahahahahhahahah oh i feel sorry for you too but it is too funny!!!

Kids say the very things they know they shouldnt... I once knocked over a stand of wine glasses, partly by accident, partly because I wanted to see what would happen next... (I was aged 5 at the time)

Life with Kaishon said...

This is too funny for words. Oh my goodness.

gram said...

i'm cracking up, tooo funny!!!
kids say the darndest things don't they!!!
gotta just love it!

nothingfancy1 said...

OMG!!! That is the funniest thing I've read in a long while!!!

When The Boy was little, he called Beer, "Beard". I'd forgotten about that til just now!

H says "Sh1t" instead of 'sit'. Last night at The Boy's soccer practice, I was holding H so that he wouldn't get all muddy. He wanted me to put him down so that he could sit on the sidelines, so he kept saying "sh1t, sh1t, sh1t". I was so embarrassed!

HeatherPride said...

This is a great story!!! I cracked up every time little man opened up his mouth. Hilarious!!!

pamajama said...

Oh my goodness, this was better than great. As I read it, I felt like I was in the grocery store with you! Oh man, the judgment that comes with parenting is so totally brutal. I think I would have wanted to start slurring my words and walking with a limp:)

midlifeslices said...

THAT was a hysterical story. LOL I can't stop laughing because I can just picture this scene playing out.

When my oldest was about 6 he was in Sunday school and the teacher asked him if he wanted kool-aid and he said "no, I'd rather have a beer, thank you."

They couldn't wait to tell me about this when SS was over. I wanted to die.....and kept trying to explain that I didn't drink beer (at that time) so he must have heard that at his Dad's. I'm sure they were thinking....Yeah sure you don't.

KIDS! LOL

bernthis said...

Lori: you are so amazing. I'm shamed when I hear how much you do. I get overwhelmed so easily and for what? I hope you keep taking whatever time you can to pursue your dream b/c you deserve it. I'm so impressed with your courage and your compassion and all the love you give out everyday. thanks for stopping by my blog

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