In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.















Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Grand Adventure

My life is an adventure. These day's, most of the time, it is a low keyed, boring adventure, which is fine by me. I tend to like a boring non chaos kind of life. I have had enough drama and chaos in my past, that I try to steer clear of it now.

I love children of all ages and I love being a mom more than anything in the world. I put everything in my life on hold, to raise the 5 of them along with the many daycare children that spent all their waking hours at my home. I became a mom when I was still a kid myself, so I had spent all my adult years being “mom”. I knew that eventually they would grow up and then it would be my time.

When I finally found the love of my life and married him, I was excited about the adventure that he and I were embarking on. I had waited my whole life for him and could hardly wait for our adventure to begin. It was only in that year before meeting him, that I had started living a life for me…doing things outside of mothering. With my youngest child, a senior in high school, I had more freedoms to do those things I had put on hold…and now I had found someone to share the adventure with.

We entered our marriage with many dreams and plans for our adventure. None of these plans included having children together. None of these dreams were of being “daddy” and “mommy” together. None of these were of being tied down on the weekends or our day’s off.

Three weeks after our wedding, our granddaughter, little lady, was born. It became evident that her mother, my step daughter, could not handle caring for her and her brother, our grandson, little man, who was 14 months old, at the same time, alone. There are no fathers involved with either of them so she was alone but she made that choice. We tried to support her as a mom. Tried to get her help. We were either caring for one or both of them, all of the time. She was not bonding with her children and the conditions of the children after being with her, were poor. She could not handle parenting and the children were suffering and no amount of help we gave her was fixing the situation.

We lived in denial of what was happening. We kept thinking this would end any day now and our adventures would begin. We were afraid for our grandchildren. We could not keep up with her lies and her refusal to take responsibility for her life, her choices and her children. No amount of support or help was doing any good. Talking with her, was like talking to a wall. She was the mother for gods sake, but here I was being the mother, 90 % of the time. We didn’t want to be the parents, we wanted to be the grandparents. We felt stuck in a no win situation. When it came to the point of her asking us to take them, we could have said “no” but how could we look at these precious children, and say “no“?

Thus, our birth into parenthood. Our lives were interrupted to become parents. I started this blog to write about the adventures of becoming a mommy again…to write about this interruption of our lives. Our plans and dreams have been put on hold, as our adventure changed directions. Somehow, those plans and dreams aren’t as important as what we are in the middle of. Our plans and dreams can wait, but children can’t.

It’s been a fight, as many of you already know…fighting to keep giving these children what they so deserve. I will fight until the fight is taken away from me. It has not been an easy road to travel and I know it will not get any easier down the road. Yes, there are times that we get a little weathered from the storms that hit and there are day’s I question if I am cut out for this job. But, most of the time, the sun shines brightly, with the love and the smiles and the giggles that over flow in my days.

I look at these two precious interruptions, and I cannot imagine my life without them. They have changed everything and they have changed me.
This grand adventure is worth everything I have given up and put on hold. What I have gained is far more grand and spectacular than what I imagined to be. This is the story of how our grand adventure began. This is the story of my journey.


This is my life interrupted. Thank you for letting me share it with you.

To read more stories on adventure, go visit the spin cycle at Sprite's Keeper.

25 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

Those children are very, VERY lucky to have you in their lives. Your strength amazes me.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

A grand and worthy adventure. You and your sleflessnss never cease to amaze and inspire me.

Yours was the first post I put up after my adventrue spin. It is weird as we both wrote about the adventure of family and sacrifice.

But you have done it two times over and for that I am in awe of you.

nothingfancy1 said...

Thank you for sharing your story. You told it beautifully. Your children are blessed to have you in their lives...and I can tell you feel blessed to have them. What a beautiful family.

Krystal said...

I've said it before and I will say it again you have been blessed and may God continue to give you the strength you need when you need it the most.

Busy Bee Suz said...

You are so amazing. You unselfishly (is that a word) gave up your hopes, dreams and freedom for these little souls. I hope they realize this one day...You have a nice cushy spot in heaven.

Sandi said...

You are a beautiful woman with a beautiful story. I love to read you! KEEP SHARING!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Two of the cutest interruptions I've ever seen! Sometimes the not-planned adventures are the best ones. You're linked!

Kathryn Magendie said...

How fortunate for the children you were there. I think about the woman my father married years ago when I was about 3 -- that woman adopted me, and my brothers. Without her, I don't know what would have become of us. You are an angel to do this.

Jan said...

You are an incredible woman - I don't know if I could do what you're doing.

Brittany Danielle said...

my little mister saw a picture and screamed the kids names and said "hi (insert little ladies name)!! hi (insert little mans name)!!! He got SOOO excited! ha ha and goes "MAMA AND PAPA in the hot tub! :) lol cant wait to see you!

Debbie said...

Wow. What a story. And you are all lucky to have each other!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Wow, amazing! Those kids are so lucky, and who knows? this could be the greatest adventure that you never planned on!

Thank you for your comment and it seems like we have something in common!

SciFi Dad said...

Thanks for having us along for the ride.

midlife slices said...

OMGsh, I see you all are using your Christmas present. LOL I had to do a double take when I saw that picture.

Seriously, you and your husband are a Godsend to those precious children. You are a blessing.

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

What a beautiful story you have here. I too have found my Prince after much seeking. My beautiful life is the best andit sounds like yours is as well. A grandbady?? Oh, how very special. None of those yet but plenty of nieces and nephews to spoil a little :)
And now I want a hot tub. Thanks!

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Smart Mouth Broad said...

What an adventure it is. I feel honored to be invited into it. While reading your words, I find myself at different times, biting my lip, grinding my teeth, holding my breath and laughing out loud. I know it's hard for you and certainly not what you planned but it is a great gift you are giving these children. Without you, they would be lost. Thanks for sharing your adventure with us. You are truly an inspiration!

TuTu's Bliss said...

Thank you for sharing your adventure. Hugs, Jen

HeatherPride said...

Imagine where these kids would be if you hadn't been there for them. You are doing the right thing! God bless.

Camille said...

Sweet story! That's really an amazing thing for grandparents to do. It's an admirable, self-sacrificing quality. I hope you are able to experience some of the other kind of adventure, too!

Stepping Thru said...

Some of life's greatest gifts are those little interruptions that change the course of our nice little planned out life. Your two are precious and very fortunate to have the two of you to show them how a real family functions. What you are teaching them by your actions and your love will help them to be responsible adults when they grow up. Keep up the good work.

Shangrila said...

You just inspired the hell out of me! I've often asked my husband if he would consider adopting children after our biological kids are grown and he's always said, "No! That's MY time with you!" and while I respect that, and understand it, you are the perfect example of how self-sacrifice can positively impact the life of a child! Thanks for sharing this-LOVED this spin!

Casey said...

I'm so glad those kids have someone to love them and raise them in a stable home. Great story... what a different life than you had planned but it sounds perfect!

Laura said...

Is it life interrupted or is it, as Robert Frost might say, life going down another path. Luckily you see it as a yellow brick road, with some good and bad adventures on the way. May you all enjoy the adventure that you are on--together.

SSG said...

thanks for telling us about your and the little ones. You know my Granny looked after me and my sister while my mum worked and though it was tough at times she did a grand job. The little ones won't be so little for long, and you will have time to yourself at somepoint, but you'll also have these children who'll think and know you to be the best parents in the world. Well done on just being there, and bringing the children up and stopping a cycle. You rock!

thistle said...

Lord save us...is that a hot tub...in the snow?! That in itself is an adventure, never mind the return to parenting.

I think that i would probably do the same as you, in the same situation...i know there have been several times i have enountered the children of clients and wanted to take them home with me, not because the parents were evil, but because they were not equipped with the strenth to parent. It always makes me sad. Thanks for sharing how you switched adventures mid-stream...and don't worry, there will still be time for the other adventures...i'm sure of it.