In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Police Car Rides & A Beautiful Mess

My husband had his surgery this past week. The surgery went well and he is at home recuperating. The surgeon also said that it may not take him as long to recover as a previous doctor had told us, so we are hoping that he will be able to return to his regular job sooner then later. In the meantime, he is home until the doctor releases him to return for light duty. Then his boss will have him work in the milk bottling plant until he can go back to his regular milk delivery route. I think his boss is realizing how much he does since there are 2 people doing his job and they are taking 3 hours longer to do it each day. 

These past weeks leading up to the surgery meant me taking more of the load of parenting the little’s because of how my husband was feeling and now after the surgery, all of it. This time of doing it all leaves me very grateful that I have a husband that shares in parenting duty with me, as well as caring for our home. As you know, with my injury, my husband has had to carry the load more often then not. Now I am wearing his shoes and it has not been easy. Thankfully I have experienced being a single mother and that ability to rise above, kicks in.

It doesn’t help that it has been bitter cold, so I haven’t been able to send the little’s outside to play and if I do, it takes longer to get them all bundled up and then everything off and put back away when they come back inside ,then the amount of time they actually spend outside. The snow is so deep that the younger two don’t care to go out as much because they literally get stuck in the snow, thus leaving behind boots stuck in the snow, with tears falling.

Nonetheless, there are 3 stir crazy little’s creating beautiful messes and making lots of beautiful noise. I have been doing my best to keep it quiet and relaxing for my husband. Who am I kidding? It is a 3 ring circus at my house. How he is able to sleep through these circus acts is beyond me.

On Thursday, after getting my husband home and tucked away in bed, I received a phone call from little man’s Kindergarten teacher. Come to find out that he had missed the school bus that morning and instead of walking back to the house where my son would have driven him to school, he instead started out walking to the school. Granted we live in a small rural community but it is spread out and the school is on the other side of town, which is why he has to take a bus in the first place. Need I mention that it was below 0 that morning?

Our town police chief stopped him and asked him where he was going. After little man explained to the policeman that “Mommy took Daddy to the hospital to get his body fixed and that he had missed the bus so he just had to walk to school because he has always wanted to walk to school.” the policeman took him to school and delivered him to his classroom with little man leading the way.

My mind screamed in panic as I listened to the teacher. I had to remind myself to breathe. Just writing this makes my heart to beat faster. She reassured me he was fine and that both she and the policeman talked with him about it.

Once I got past imagining all the possibilities of what could have happened, I was able to be very thankful we live in a safe small town and that he had been wearing warm outside gear. I had approximately 45 minutes to get myself calm before he got home from school.

I picture him trudging along with his big back pack, and with that big smile on his face. What a sight he must have been. Even now I cannot help but smile at what he must have looked like.

I talked to him and tried to explain the seriousness of the situation. I explained over and over again why he can’t do this and what could have happened. I talked and talked some more. Of course at 5 years he is unable to comprehend the dangers and while I want him to “get it”, I don’t want to instill such fear in him that he lives in deep fear either.

Quite honestly, he was and still is quite proud of himself for “making it so far all by myself” and getting to ride in a police car to school and then walked to his classroom by the policeman. After much talking, I do think he gets why he cannot walk that far all by himself but no matter what I or anyone has said to him, we cannot make him not be proud or excited about his adventure. It really was hard to keep a straight face through out this because he smiled through out much of it because he was that happy about it.

I am pretty sure I gained at least a dozen new gray hairs over this.

Even after all that talking, he excitedly told his sister and cousin about his police car ride and long walk to school. Ugh! I guess I am not the only one seeking new adventures.

This is my year of seeking. Or so I thought. I guess someone else is seeking too and it’s my job to make sure that he seeks in safety.

Birkwood 2010 005-1

Seek and ye shall find.

I seek more peace and quiet yet my life is more like a circus act filled with beautiful noise. I seek order and for things to stay in their places, yet I am constantly surrounded by beautiful messes. And yet what would we do without these little creators of all things beautiful? Without them, we would have more peace and quiet. Without them we would have more order in our home and things would stay in their place.

Yet without them we would be without all the big beautiful love they bring to our table. Without them we would miss out on this big beautiful fun, which includes noise and messes. And lots of them.

This means I must be more creative in my seeking for these the moments of solitude. It means staying up a little later or getting up  a little earlier in order to capture the quiet. This means I must step back, take some deep breathes and accept the fact that I do not live in a home on display but instead a home that is filled to the brim with being lived in. Living with 3 active little’s and 3 other busy adults ensures that fact.

As much as I clean, and make the little’s clean up mess after mess, I will not have a spotless home, so the lived in look is going to have to do. I seek to accept this fact, that unless I want to drive myself completely insane in the attempt to keep it to such a high standard, it will not be. Embracing my beautiful messes and the noise that fill it, makes it much easier to enjoy the moments at hand because then I am not raging full force ahead to attain some impossible expectation I’ve created for myself.

Still, I seek to bring some order to the chaos and to slow this circus act down, so that when I come to the table, I am not sticking my elbows on yesterdays peanut butter & jelly. For my sanity, I seek to maintain some level of balance, peace and order in all of this chaos, without hurting little hearts and tearing out my own.

Our table is full. We have beautiful messes. We have beautiful noise. It may seem like a circus act at times. Love may have a dirty face much of the time but it sure is sweet to look it in the face and to be reminded that much of what I seek is already right in front of me. I just have to open my eye’s and see.

I cannot close without saying thank you for all the thoughts, prayers and support you’ve given through my husbands surgery. You are very much appreciated.

Until next time, hugs & love, Lori





Anonymous said...

Gosh, a ride in the police car sounds very exciting for a 5 year old, but a great worry for the parents!!

Best wishes to your husband. I imagine you're run off your feet. Take care of yourself, too.

CJ xx

TechnoBabe said...

The lived in look to me means your home is comfortable and cozy. Little man did indeed do a brave thing and he thought that since you were busy with dad at the hospital he would walk to school. Sounds like you live in a small town with caring people. That is what we love about it here.

Joyce A Gray said...

How great for you that little man was seen so quickly, but his independence and can do it attitude will bode well for him as he grows older. Wish you could just wiggle your nose and bring the whole family out here for a little fun in the sun. Have a blessed day.

Linda said...

Little Man does display some good character qualities in trying to solve the school bus problem without adding to your stress. I don't think many five-year-olds would have thought of walking to school if it was summer and school was a block away.

As for your home, it sounds warm and welcoming; and that's way better than spotless.

May God bless you and give you peace and a speedy recovery to your husband.

Busy Bee Suz said...

What a boy he is...taking charge of the missed bus situation. Lori, you have your hands full, but you and your husband are doing such a wonderful job with these kiddos.

I hope he continues to recover and rest....
blessings to you all!

Colleen said...

Lori, I am praying for a speedy recovery for your husband and just want to say what a wonderful job you are doing right now when you have so much on your plate. So many would fail to see the blessing in it all but you are so good at that. I love reading about your priorities, how you have a busy, happy, laughter-filled home and a place where your Littles feel safe and treasured.

You are really doing a phenomenal job Lori. I am so impressed with your patience and your willingness to always see the good in everything!

I guess there will be a time when these busy days are replaced by another sort of day, so your attitude of treasuring them now is lovely.

Take care of yourself my dear friend.

Anonymous said...

I can just imagine the smile on his face while telling you and others about his adventure. Gray hairs indeed!

"Seek Ye First" comes to mind, amid visions of a quiet house.

The Incredible Woody said...

His adventure quite literally took my breath away. I can just imagine all the things that ran thru your head, all the what ifs. I think I gained several gray hairs just reading about it!!

SciFi Dad said...

Not to diminish your (completely justifiable) fears, but I'm more struck by his confidence in knowing how to get to school from his bus stop. Does the bus pick him up on the same street as the school?

Regardless, I can imagine how proud he was, and how frightened you were.

Nancy said...

My home is now quiet, very orderly, but I miss the noise and chaos sometimes. You simply cannot have a perfect house with little people, unless you drive yourself and them completely crazy.

I hope your husband is feeling well soon.

Jacquelyn Stager said...

oh Lori...your life just goes on and on and on doesn't it? Little man was very brave but I would have died just like you almost did. It doesn't take much imagination for me to visualize your chaos since I have the two grands here three full days a week...and when the other ones come up from SC to join the chaos it really gets to be a zoo. I don't know how you do it, I really don't. I know your hubby will be appreciating you more than ever after you see him through all of this.I hope he gts well soon and heals up completely! Happy New Year to all of you!

Brian Miller said...

thats a little scary about the little...glad a police officer found him...and bet he loved that...keep seeki

LauraX said...

Oh Lori, your littles are really something...Thank God the little man is fine and that your husband is on the mend...what an adventure indeed!! How did you manage not to crack up in between your very real worries and serious words of wisdom??

This really struck me "Embracing my beautiful messes and the noise that fill it, makes it much easier to enjoy the moments at hand because then I am not raging full force ahead to attain some impossible expectation I’ve created for myself." This is something that I have struggled with for years with my kids...but ultimately the struggle is within ME...they are just living, being, happy messy's when I put unrealistic expectations on their "kid-ness" and my physical limitation that the non-existent "problem" becomes a problem. I, like you am learning more and more to tolerate the disorder in order to embrace the beauty of life being lived...but it isn't easy to let go, it takes lots and lots of practice. For years, early morning and late at night were my quiet times, now that the girls are teens I have a full day of quiet until the are home from school...but my favorite time continues to be early in the morning, before anyone is awake...there is something magical about that stillness.

blueviolet said...

I'm so glad that it's over and he's now on the mend.

What a nice police officer and what a memory to have forever now!

LPC said...

That you have given your little guy so much trust in the world, especially in light of what he's been through, speaks volumes. Makes me a little tearful. I do hope you understand that magnitude of the gift you are giving him. Go little guy go!

mommytoalot said...

Wow..first off..I love how you never complain.."beautiful noises and beautiful messes" is beautiful. I feel like a whiner .....I wish I had your positive stance on things. You truly inspire.
Secondly..I'm so glad your little man is safe and sound . How scary that must have been for you. He is a brave boy indeed to try the trudge to school in this cold.
Thirdly..your home sounds very much like ours..but I am certainly glad to read about yours because it's always put in a positive way.
I need to "seek" a way to be more positive.
thanks Lori as always for being such an inspiration

Hilary said...

I'm so glad that surgery went well and that all turned out just fine with your little man. I can just imagine his beautiful grin... and the look on your face when you heard the story. Hugs to you, Lori.

Buckeroomama said...

How cool was it for the Little Man to get ride in a police car AND be escorted by your police chief to his classroom? :) That aside, I'm glad he is okay. That would've scared me to bits, too.

Another beautiful post, Lori. :)

Anonymous said...

How exciting to get a ride in a police car - but how terrifying for you to hear that he tried to walk! I've gone grey just thinking about it!

I understand the mess and noise - my house is full of them too - and also the need for a few moments of peace.

I get up early to achieve this.

I'm sending healing thoughts to your husband!

Jeanne said...

Thank goodness that policeman saw him. Raising children requires so much faith and courage.

Just Be Real said...

Wow what a story. What excitement Lori. May your hubby feel better soon. Blessings.

Katherine said...

My thoughts and prayers are with your husband for a very speedy recovery! As for the 5 year old - oh my goodness! Thats a story to be told in many years to come.

Much love,

K xx

Loz said...

I've momentarily lost a couple of my kids when they were little and it is terrifying. But enjoy and embrace every moment coz they pass very quickly.

deb said...

You must create a world of comfort.. your loved ones carry it with them .
It's all we can ask really.