In our family...

In our family....we do second chances...we do grace...we do real...we do mistakes...we do I'm sorry (and I forgive you)...we do loud really well...we do hugs...we do family...we do love.















Saturday, June 13, 2009

The Beauty That is Us

In the midst, of all that has been going on over the past few months, something good and beautiful emerged out of all of it. I fell in love with my husband all over again.

It’s not that I wasn’t already head over heels in love with him already. It’s not like things have ever been bad between us, even with all the on going stress and conflict with his daughter and taking on raising her children. It’s not that we didn’t already have a great relationship. It’s not that we were really fighting or at odds with each other.

I knew when I found him, that he was in deed “the one” and if you were to ask him, he would say the same thing. We just knew and from there we became friends and that friendship has grown over the course of our marriage. He has not just been my husband and lover but my friend. This friendship has seen us through all the interruptions that have come into our lives since before we were even married.

But, the thing is, we have not had “time” for just us. Not ever. Ever. When we were dating, I still had a teenage son living at home so it was important for me to be around for him. We knew his time at home would end all too quickly and then it would be our time. We also spent time trying to help his daughter and her baby son, who is now our little man. We waited patiently for our time to come. Our time never came.

After our wedding, we put off going on a honeymoon because my step daughter was due to have her daughter, who is now our little lady. It wasn’t long after little lady was born, before one thing led to another and we were caring for them much of the time. We would plan a weekend away and one crisis with my step daughter after another, prevented us from going away. Still, we waited patiently for our time to come.

It wasn’t long before we became parents of two little people. Yes, we put our dreams and plans on hold to do this. And yes, they are more than worth it. In the middle of all of this, my daughter and her son needed to move home for awhile and we watched our grandson while she worked. Yet, we still tried to get away.

People tried to watch them so we could get away for a planned weekend. Without fail something always happened that prevented us from getting away. Life, work, responsibilities, sickness, and finances could all be excuses of why it didn’t happen. I could also give you all the reasons why it should have happened because we needed it. It’s just that we had gotten so caught up in doing all the things we needed to do, that we neglected to nurture the foundation of this family…our relationship.

Lo and behold it happened! We got away! A couple of weeks ago, my husbands best friend was getting married, so we made plans to go there on Thursday evening and to be gone until Sunday. My sister and her husband agreed to care for the little people. They are like the grandparents that we don’t get to be and are wonderful with them, so we knew they were in good hands.

We had 3 nights to ourselves...that means 3 nights of not having to get little people ready for bed...that means 3 nights of getting to sleep naked(favorite way to sleep but something I've had to give up) and not having to worry about being interrupted by a little person...3 mornings of not being woken up way too early. Flipping fantastic!!

Even though this was not a whole weekend to just ourselves, we did get some time to just ourselves. We had the time of our lives. Seriously. I had forgotten what it was like to just be with him. We laughed. We danced. We talked. We had a blast. I fell in love with him all over again.

I fell in love again, with this crazy man that makes me laugh like crazy…who still makes my heart stop when he looks at me a certain way…who dances with me even when he would rather not but does anyways, just because he knows how much I love it…who knows how to have fun…who doesn’t take life so seriously that he can’t see the humor in it…who puts a smile on my face every single day.
 
It’s not that I don’t get angry with him or he with me. It’s not that we don’t drive each other crazy at times and I have a feeling I drive him a little bit more crazy than he does me. But, I do know that I am crazy about him. And I have a feeling that he might be just as crazy about me!

Going away together, was a wake up call to both of us, of the importance of nurturing our relationship by giving it the gift of alone time….time without interruptions, even if those interruptions are important one’s, like our little people…time outside of the daily demands, responsibilities and stressful situations. Keeping our relationship strong is vital to our families happiness and growth…it’s vital for our own happiness…it’s vital, so that what we have, doesn’t get lost along the way....so that we can keep the beauty that is us.


PS I apologize for this publishing twice. After publishing this post I realized that many of you may be unaware of my past history. The reason that this is so BIG for me is because I do NOT have a good track record with men, relationships and marriage. I could write a book titled “ How to fall in love with an abusive man and marry him”. I do not hide the fact that I have made bad choices in regards to men. That is my normal.

As much as I may regret these relationships, I do NOT ever for one moment regret the children that came out of them. Not one of them is a mistake. The fact that I found my husband is a miracle in itself. The fact that when he looks at me, he doesn’t see any of “that” past is even more of a miracle. While I worked hard to get to the point of being able to be in a healthy relationship, I do not take lightly, the fact that I found him. A thousand times over, I cannot take for granted this gift that has been given to me. Totally and completely awesome.

23 comments:

Jeannie said...

Great news! - Now that you've done it once, you'll crave it more. Listen to your craving.

Jason, as himself said...

Thank God for the good stuff! It would just all be too much to take without it. And this one, this one is sure important.

Busy Bee Suz said...

My heart is just smiling away for you right now. So glad you got to have some nice one on one adult time...you really need it.
Love hearing from you...hope all is well now too.
Hugs, Suz

Sandi said...

The good stuff is the best stuff! I love falling in love even if it's over and over again. It still feels GREAT!

If you ever need alone time, come to Cali, We won't even notice a few more. You can drop them off and leave for a few days.

Queenofphrump said...

Hurray for LOVE!!!!

♥ Braja said...

Brilliant :)) Well done xx

Kathryn Magendie said...

This made me smile....

Laura said...

Do you have any other friends who are getting married soon? So if you don't have a set-in-stone excuse you let all of the other commitments come in the way of maintaining the most important commitment? I'm so glad that it was a marvelous epiphany for you--both.

Here's to men shuffling on the dance floor!

I bet you got wonderful hugs when you returned.

midlife slices said...

You deserve only the best and looks like you've found it in this marriage even when things seem far from good......it's all great.
HUGS

SciFi Dad said...

I'm glad you got that time to yourselves. It is SO important.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I'm so glad you had such a wonderful time! It's so wonderful to hear how much you love each other too.

Jan said...

LOL - I was going to say what Laura said: Find other friends who are getting married soon!

I'm so glad you got the chance to get away and have some time to yourselves. You SO deserve it!

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Stepping Thru said...

I understand completely. We never had time to ourselves either until all the kids were gone and it's lovely. Everytime we get some "alone" time, away from everyone and everything, I am amazed at this remarkable man who saw through all my mistakes and showed me what love really is. Ain't it grand?! I am so happy for you and know that someday soon you two will be able to sleep naked anytime you want. Take care!

Duchess said...

I'm so glad you had that time alone together -- but it is also wonderful to read about what the two little people, inconvenient as they are, add to your life.

david mcmahon said...

Great post .....

Tricia said...

This is simply beautiful. I'm so glad you two had a chance to get away finally and to recapture some of those special moments. You're so right that keeping our relationships strong is so important, and probably the most important gift you can give to your little people. Yay for you guys.

Bogey said...

Lori I don't believe you have the need to explain anything to anybody. Your life is just that; your life. What was, is gone! It is what you have now that is all important. Wake up calls never hurt, they only make you grateful! And I think you have that gratitude. Now that you know what it is like to have that together time, you may want to arrange a little more of it from time to time. You take care of yourself....and don't let anybody pee in your cornflakes!

Merisi said...

Beautiful story, so well written!
Congratulations on winning top spot in David's Post of the Day Award, so well deserved!
Good luck to you,
M.

Sandi McBride said...

What a wonderful post...absolutely beautifully told! Congrats on Post of the Day mention...
Sandi

nothingfancy1 said...

Wonderful. Simply wonderful!

I LONG for a weekend getaway with Blue Eyes, but I suppose that won't happen for years to come. Sigh.

Bina said...

I am so happy for you! Happy for you both! Sounds like you needed it to very bad, whether you realize it or not (and I'm sure you did). How wonderful to be able to reconnect and enjoy each other without the demands of anyone else.

Yeah for you!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Wonderful story-- I love a good love story :-)
Congrats on your David McMahon nomination!