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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Sleepless in Minnesota

I now know why I have been in so much pain…nope it’s not all in my head. I found out that I have at least 3 things wrong with my shoulder. I am waiting to have another MRI with dye injected into me and to meet with an orthopedic surgeon for my shoulder, since the only way to fix it is with surgery. This does not have anything to do with my neck injury. I do NOT have insurance because we cannot afford it. And no we don’t qualify for help because even though our income qualifies we have too many assets. Assets that my husband had before he ever met me. Yes, I know that our savings will be depleted plus more. But, I know somehow we will be fine.

I also await an MRI for my neck and multiple procedures to burn the nerves in my neck once again. They make small incisions and go inside and burn the nerve endings.(I have had this done multiple times.)Not to mention seeing other specialists in regards to all of this and trying a new medication. And more therapy. This means jumping through more hoops for workers comp. If you have ever dealt with them then you know they are a poop on the party of wanting to get better. They suck. They have been a thorn in my side for 7 years now. I could understand if there was a dispute over the actually injury but there’s not.

It’s a waiting game….for approvals and for these doctors to have openings in their schedules. And until then, I am sleepless in Minnesota…due to pain and not being able to lay down flat on a bed, I have taken up residence in the recliner in the living room. When I was actually getting sleep at night it seemed that there were never enough hours at night. Now that I’m not sleeping it seems that there are too many hours in the night and daylight cannot come soon enough. Go figure.

Things I’ve come to realize during my sleepless nights…

There really is nothing on TV during the night. I have watched way too many infomercials and have come way too close to buying exercise programs and gadgets…Like the Ab Circle, Slim in 6, Core Rhythms, ChaLEAN Extreme, and don’t forget about the Abtronic Ab Exerciser that all you have to do is wear it around your stomach and it does the work for you. Really? I am starting to see how desperate people can succumb to perfect looking people selling them something that is going to fix all of their problems. All for a bargain of course. And free shipping.

Desperate, sleep deprived people like me…which really is ridiculous since I wouldn’t be able to use them anyways…which ends up irritating the crap out of me because I really, really miss working out and it’s starting to show on me. (Big sigh) Watching skinny women with fairly large breasts and hard bodies, telling me how I can look like them, if in fact, I would buy what they are selling, makes me want to pinch someone…well someone skinny with fake breasts anyways.

…there is the Swivel Sweeper and some other vacuum that I can’t think of the name of right now but it sure does amazing things. And then there is this ultimate chopper thing that chops all of your vegetables in less then a minute. Not that I believe all the hype but seeing these things sure makes me miss cooking and cleaning. I’m not kidding. Not being able to let out the domestic goddess in me is driving me crazy…and you might have guessed, irritates me.

I’ve learned it’s not good for me to watch the news channels because all it does is either upset, make me scared or more confused. Seriously, how did some of these people get hired? Do you think they know how irritating they sound? But, we do live in the land of free speech don't we?

Watching the weather predictions on various channels only irritates the hell out of me because how can they vary that much?!

Watching cooking shows only makes me hungry and even more irritated over the menopausal weight gain as of late. The kind of irritation that makes me want to eat ice cream with lots of hot caramel and nuts on top of a hot fudge brownie. And I don’t even like sweets all that much. And I'm not eating that much to begin with. I'm not. But, you would never ever know that. Do I have to go back to starving myself? Hell, I like eating too much. Forget the fact that in one month I am the "best lady" in my brothers wedding and need to fit into my dress.

Watching the home renovation shows can be interesting and give great idea’s. But, seriously, some of the colors they use and things they do are out right ugly. To me, anyways. What really irritates me with these shows is watching people in nice clothes on, that look like their ready for a date, painting and doing home renovations. I understand they are on TV and all but they could be a little more realistic. Just sayin.

Are you sensing the irritation?

My house makes weird noises at night. Irritating noises. Like a dripping faucet. Or a running toilet.

Not only does my husband talk in his sleep(of course I already knew that) but so does little man and little lady. Little man on occasion walks in his sleep. Freaks the hell out of me when out of nowhere he is standing right next to me in the dark of the night.

Right now we have so many acorns falling on to the roof,(we have lots of big tree’s)that it sounds like it is raining or hailing. This gets really annoying when I have had the good fortune of actually falling asleep for a moment and I’m woken up by a sudden surge of acorns falling. We also have a couple of squirrels that are either fighting it out at night or making babies. The fact that we have neighbors keeps me from screaming out the window at them. I don’t know what irritates me more, the falling acorns or the fact that the squirrels might be having sex and I'm not.

We live near both the hospital and ambulance garage so we hear everything that happens. Since we live in a small rural town you wouldn’t think they would keep as busy as they do. I never realized until now, how often their sirens are going off. Every night. Multiple times. Irritating yes, but sad.

It’s amazing what you hear when you aren’t sleeping with the roar of the fan drowning out the noises that fills your home. What’s even more amazing is that a bomb could go off and my husband would sleep through it. At least someone is sleeping.

I’m not sleeping but I am icing my neck and shoulder through out the night. Ice packs do not stay cold long enough. I have been thinking that I should invent an icepack that stays cold.

I think WAY too much at night. About everything and anything. And very random. Ugh. Combine that with the deliriousness that comes with being sleep deprived, being in pain and the stress that all of this has brought. And let’s don’t forget about the noisy elephant sitting in the corner, that will not shut up…I think his name is menopause and does nothing for rational thinking. NOT. A. Good. Thing. I should keep these thoughts to myself. Last night, I wanted to share some of my thoughts and as I was going through the numbers on my cell phone, I realized that it was in fact the middle of the night. My husband needs to hide my phone from me at night.

Kind of like drunk dialing except I’m not drunk and I don’t even have the excuse of pain meds since I gave up on them. They did nothing for the pain but everything to keep me hugging the porcelain goddess.

Such is life when you are sleepless in Minnesota...telling your woes to people that are miles away, in the form of a post. What’s your favorite infomercial? What do you do when you can’t sleep? Entertain me with your suggestions or tales of your own sleepless nights.

Once again, thanks for listening. Hugs and love, Lori

35 comments:

♥ Braja said...

Just saw it's been 5 months since you gave up smoking. You're amazing, Lori...well done....xo

Chicken Herder from Westville said...

I am sorry you are in such pain. I know what You are going through. I have lower and upper back herniation's and hurt all the time. Sleepless in Indiana.

Nancy

Nancy said...

Menopause - ghaaa

I've been sleepless in Minnesota - the cold used to freak me out. I would watch the frost creep under the door and had visions of an ice age beginning in Minnesota and spreading across the country - wait - thats a movie...

I had shoulder surgery. A laprascopic surgery, and it was the best thing I have ever done! Be sure and do all the exercises so you get full motion back. The pain is unbelievable - I can't imagine having neck pain at the same time.

Take care!

Busy Bee Suz said...

I can't imagine the pain you are in...I hope you can get some or ALL of it resolved and it sucks that you have to jump through hoops to do it. adding more pain to your pain.

TV in the middle of the night? Does not sound fun.
Can you read instead?
I would like to see you pinch a skinny girl with big breasts. take a picture when this does happen.
Hugs, Suz

SciFi Dad said...

I don't know what you're going through as far as the chronic nature of it, but your description of being laid up and unable to do anything reminded me a lot of when I had a broken ankle and couldn't do much for myself. It sucked, and I cannot imagine going through that as long as you have.

I hope things get sorted out soon.

Krystal said...

I have been sleepless too but it has alot to do with a snoring husband and a dog who's tail is so long it bangs against the crate all night making all kinds of noises. Sorry it is rough on you hun....

Jeannie said...

I'm so sorry about your pain - yours sounds worse than mine was which was enough to make me sleep deprived and irritable and not quite thinking straight.

Still, I am up in the middle of the night again...
I don't like TV at night - as you say - there is nothing on. I can't stand infomercials, most of the programs are old crap (why don't they repeat prime time shows for those people on different schedules?). Sometimes there will be an old movie that I will drift off to, only to be woken up by a commercial blasting at twice the volume. Why do they do that? Do they think I'll run out and buy the product that made me angry?

What I do, is get a cup of milk and warm it in the microwave for a minute. I sit on my comfy loveseat with my computer on the coffee table at a good angle. I find some sort of half interesting documentary - at least an hour's worth (youtube's are way too short). And I sip and watch. The documentary slows my brain so I can drift off and not be bothered by the commercials. Sometimes I'll take GABA - it helps the brain slow down too.

Do you have a few ice packs so you can switch them up?

Sometimes, when the pain is really bad and undistractable, I'll focus all my attention on the pain and totally experience it as a sensation - like a meditation - I acknowledge the message it's telling me and somehow, it stops being so much pain as feeling. And then I can drift off. Sounds weird and I've no clue if I'm crazy but it seems to work.

HeatherPride said...

I hope you get some relief soon, truly.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I have no idea what my favorite infomercial would be. I can never stay awake long enough to watch them. I have the opposite, I think. Narcolepsy? I can sleep thru anything. I'm so sorry you're having this pain in addition to your accident pain. Will keep you in my prayers.

Brian Miller said...

i hope you find your relief soon. there really is nothing on in the middle of the night. i tend to keep a couple old tv shows on DVD. enjoying JAG again right now.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hey Lori, Sleepless, menopausal AND in pain is not a good combination.

Pain meds made me sick to my stomach too. Best thing I found to help was Xanax for all the anxiety that goes with the pain. THAT really helped me turn off my brain and get some actual rest which made a world of difference.

Whatever you do, hang in there. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this.

xo

queenofphrump said...

Here I am! Late through the door but with a bunch of flowers in hand for you! You crack me up and I was laughing audibly over the squirrels having sex paragraph. Your sense of humor is intact whether or not you felt funny when you were typing away in the dark. sigh. if only we were neighbors.......

Bella said...

My heart goes out to you. You're right nighttime TV sucks, been there, but not on any regular basis. Perhaps this won't become a nightmare for you, and you will get some relief as with the previous procedures. I am not a herbalist or anything, but perhaps try melatonin to help with sleep? I can't take Tylenol PM or any such stuff as that, because it didn't kick in with me till I got up...funny thing and I struggled all day to stay awake.

steppinthru said...

As a matter of fact I only slept about two hrs. last night. Finally at 5 am I turned the light off in the living room and leaned back in the recliner and the phone rang. My sister was upset and crying. Her son's baby was coming and was in distress. I jumped up and Coach and I headed for the hospital. My sis was 5 hours away and we were only 15 min. away. Got home about 10 am. Everything went fine and the baby is great. Now I need a nap in the worse way but afraid to sleep now and then not sleep tonight. Ugh! Hope you get that shoulder taken care of soon. I hate that you're in pain.

Captain Dumbass said...

Maybe you need one of those work from home computer jobs so you have something to do at night. You could keep busy AND save up for insurance.

MGM said...

So sorry to about your suffering! May you feel better really soon!

bernthis said...

oh Lori, I have had many of those late nights. When I've been sick, many nights after I divorced, when I had my back twisted like a pretzel by a man I went to see for knee pain, thanks so much sir.

big hugs and yes, an ice pack that stays cold all day would be fantastic

Ginger said...

I hate to hear that you are suffering so much. I am sleepless many nights, too, from menopause and working swing shifts. My body has a hard time figuring out when it's supposed to be awake, and when it's supposed to sleep.

The funny thing is, I can lie in bed all night and not be able to get to sleep, but yet sometimes when I'm at work and NEED to stay awake, I can fall asleep standing up, or (this is embarrassing) while someone is talking to me!

I hope you get some relief soon.

Fragrant Liar said...

OMG, I feel your neck pain! I had a rhizotomy a couple months ago, as you might remember. Yours only worked temporarily? I'm hoping my neck stays numb long enough for the rest of the musculature to heal. Fingers crossed, right?

Meantime, I send warm healing hugs your way.

Fragrant Liar said...

And the things that keep me up these days are not neck pain and soreness, but M.E.N.

They make me crazy.

midlife slices said...

Dearest Lori, I'm so sorry you're having such pain issues and sleep issues. We should get online and talk in the middle of the night as I can't sleep either. Join Twitter. It's very quiet in the middle of the night but a lot of times I'm there. I hope they find something to fix you soon. I'm sorry I haven't been around much but I've just lost my fizz and I barely post and hardly read any other posts. I still have you in my thoughts and hope things turn around for you soon. MUAH!

Dr.John said...

And in the midst of all that you took the time to leave a nice comment on my blog. Thanks.
Because of my lung condition I have sat up many a night in the easy chair ( I can't lay flat) so I've seen those commercials. I could do those commercials.
I will add you to my prayer list.

gaelikaa said...

It must be awful not being able to get any sleep. I really do wish that you may be able to recover and get all the rest and sleep you need - it is so important!

Mimi said...

Sorry you're going through this. It sounds miserable.
Have you tried aromatherapy? It's very good for pain relief and also relaxation,which might also turn down the pain switch.
Unsolicited I know, but here's a recipe- 10mls grapeseed/sweet almond oil(if stuck you can use olive oil)+ 2 dropsLavender,2 drops Sweet Marjoram and 2 drops Chamomile. Rub it on your shoulder, your tummy and right into your navel. Use slow, gentle movements- the oil will go into your bloodstream and help you. Anything unclear- just ask over at mine.
Congrats on POTD!

gaelikaa said...

Just popped back to say congratulations on your POTD nomination!

Alix said...

I have one word for you, sistah... AMBIEN!

Your post had me giggling like a school girl. Each paragraph was funnier than the last because, honestly?, most menopausal women (including me) can relate.

I am so so sorry about your neck and shoulder issues. And all your hoop jumping just makes me cringe and worry about what it's going to be like when Obamacare gets into full swing.

Thank you for such a wonderful funny post - especially since you used so much humor to describe what I know first-hand isn't a lot of fun. And congratulations on your POTD mention at authorblog!

Signed,
Sleepless in Florida

Jan said...

Lori - I see you were nominated for POTD at authorblog as well! Congratulations!

And boy, can I relate to the insomnia - and the lack of quality programming at 3 a.m. Have I mentioned I've seen Apollo 13 approximately 83 times because of that?

Brian Miller said...

back just to say woot woot on the POTD mention!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. I don't have that but I can appreciate the sleepless nights. While my husband falls into bed and drops off to sleep, I remain in the living room, flipping channels and feigning interest in a book. I think your line about the hours of the night being very long is indeed true. I hope for some relief for you very soon.

Shrinky said...

Crumbs, poor you, I sure hope the op rolls along soon, it must be awful to be in pain AND sleep deprived, never mind having all the worry to bear of how you are going to pay for it all. What is remarkable is how you can still lace some humour into this situation. I do understand how the onset of menopause can colour things, talk about timing - I am entering into this with the added pleasure of having four hormonal teenagers living under my roof!

Laurie said...

Great blog, Lori. I love your comment on the sidebar from Mark Twain. Very true. And congrats on quitting smoking.

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh Lori! It sounds so awful! I am sorry you are in such pain. I can not even begin to imagine! I had that burning nerve thing done on my neck a couple of weeks ago and it seemed like it caused even more pain. Is it my imagination? they want to do it on the other side of my neck, but I am leery. Please give me advice!

Love, love, LOVE that blog header. They are such beautiful babies!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I get Netflix and when I cannot sleep I watch whole seasons of TV shows. Weeds. Dexter. The Tudors. Californication.

Hope you are feeling better soon Lori.

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