I now know why I have been in so much pain…nope it’s not all in my head. I found out that I have at least 3 things wrong with my shoulder. I am waiting to have another MRI with dye injected into me and to meet with an orthopedic surgeon for my shoulder, since the only way to fix it is with surgery. This does not have anything to do with my neck injury. I do NOT have insurance because we cannot afford it. And no we don’t qualify for help because even though our income qualifies we have too many assets. Assets that my husband had before he ever met me. Yes, I know that our savings will be depleted plus more. But, I know somehow we will be fine.
I also await an MRI for my neck and multiple procedures to burn the nerves in my neck once again. They make small incisions and go inside and burn the nerve endings.(I have had this done multiple times.)Not to mention seeing other specialists in regards to all of this and trying a new medication. And more therapy. This means jumping through more hoops for workers comp. If you have ever dealt with them then you know they are a poop on the party of wanting to get better. They suck. They have been a thorn in my side for 7 years now. I could understand if there was a dispute over the actually injury but there’s not.
It’s a waiting game….for approvals and for these doctors to have openings in their schedules. And until then, I am sleepless in Minnesota…due to pain and not being able to lay down flat on a bed, I have taken up residence in the recliner in the living room. When I was actually getting sleep at night it seemed that there were never enough hours at night. Now that I’m not sleeping it seems that there are too many hours in the night and daylight cannot come soon enough. Go figure.
Things I’ve come to realize during my sleepless nights…
There really is nothing on TV during the night. I have watched way too many infomercials and have come way too close to buying exercise programs and gadgets…Like the Ab Circle, Slim in 6, Core Rhythms, ChaLEAN Extreme, and don’t forget about the Abtronic Ab Exerciser that all you have to do is wear it around your stomach and it does the work for you. Really? I am starting to see how desperate people can succumb to perfect looking people selling them something that is going to fix all of their problems. All for a bargain of course. And free shipping.
Desperate, sleep deprived people like me…which really is ridiculous since I wouldn’t be able to use them anyways…which ends up irritating the crap out of me because I really, really miss working out and it’s starting to show on me. (Big sigh) Watching skinny women with fairly large breasts and hard bodies, telling me how I can look like them, if in fact, I would buy what they are selling, makes me want to pinch someone…well someone skinny with fake breasts anyways.
…there is the Swivel Sweeper and some other vacuum that I can’t think of the name of right now but it sure does amazing things. And then there is this ultimate chopper thing that chops all of your vegetables in less then a minute. Not that I believe all the hype but seeing these things sure makes me miss cooking and cleaning. I’m not kidding. Not being able to let out the domestic goddess in me is driving me crazy…and you might have guessed, irritates me.
I’ve learned it’s not good for me to watch the news channels because all it does is either upset, make me scared or more confused. Seriously, how did some of these people get hired? Do you think they know how irritating they sound? But, we do live in the land of free speech don't we?
Watching the weather predictions on various channels only irritates the hell out of me because how can they vary that much?!
Watching cooking shows only makes me hungry and even more irritated over the menopausal weight gain as of late. The kind of irritation that makes me want to eat ice cream with lots of hot caramel and nuts on top of a hot fudge brownie. And I don’t even like sweets all that much. And I'm not eating that much to begin with. I'm not. But, you would never ever know that. Do I have to go back to starving myself? Hell, I like eating too much. Forget the fact that in one month I am the "best lady" in my brothers wedding and need to fit into my dress.
Watching the home renovation shows can be interesting and give great idea’s. But, seriously, some of the colors they use and things they do are out right ugly. To me, anyways. What really irritates me with these shows is watching people in nice clothes on, that look like their ready for a date, painting and doing home renovations. I understand they are on TV and all but they could be a little more realistic. Just sayin.
Are you sensing the irritation?
My house makes weird noises at night. Irritating noises. Like a dripping faucet. Or a running toilet.
Not only does my husband talk in his sleep(of course I already knew that) but so does little man and little lady. Little man on occasion walks in his sleep. Freaks the hell out of me when out of nowhere he is standing right next to me in the dark of the night.
Right now we have so many acorns falling on to the roof,(we have lots of big tree’s)that it sounds like it is raining or hailing. This gets really annoying when I have had the good fortune of actually falling asleep for a moment and I’m woken up by a sudden surge of acorns falling. We also have a couple of squirrels that are either fighting it out at night or making babies. The fact that we have neighbors keeps me from screaming out the window at them. I don’t know what irritates me more, the falling acorns or the fact that the squirrels might be having sex and I'm not.
We live near both the hospital and ambulance garage so we hear everything that happens. Since we live in a small rural town you wouldn’t think they would keep as busy as they do. I never realized until now, how often their sirens are going off. Every night. Multiple times. Irritating yes, but sad.
It’s amazing what you hear when you aren’t sleeping with the roar of the fan drowning out the noises that fills your home. What’s even more amazing is that a bomb could go off and my husband would sleep through it. At least someone is sleeping.
I’m not sleeping but I am icing my neck and shoulder through out the night. Ice packs do not stay cold long enough. I have been thinking that I should invent an icepack that stays cold.
I think WAY too much at night. About everything and anything. And very random. Ugh. Combine that with the deliriousness that comes with being sleep deprived, being in pain and the stress that all of this has brought. And let’s don’t forget about the noisy elephant sitting in the corner, that will not shut up…I think his name is menopause and does nothing for rational thinking. NOT. A. Good. Thing. I should keep these thoughts to myself. Last night, I wanted to share some of my thoughts and as I was going through the numbers on my cell phone, I realized that it was in fact the middle of the night. My husband needs to hide my phone from me at night.
Kind of like drunk dialing except I’m not drunk and I don’t even have the excuse of pain meds since I gave up on them. They did nothing for the pain but everything to keep me hugging the porcelain goddess.
Such is life when you are sleepless in Minnesota...telling your woes to people that are miles away, in the form of a post. What’s your favorite infomercial? What do you do when you can’t sleep? Entertain me with your suggestions or tales of your own sleepless nights.
Once again, thanks for listening. Hugs and love, Lori