Here I am writing in the wee hours of the morning when really I should be doing other things like sleeping, but I can't because of pain. I could also be packing but it is too early to start such a task without waking the house. You see, today I am leaving on a 10-11 day trip to go visit my daughter in beautiful Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. My oldest daughter and her 10 year old daughter and my youngest son, are taking this road trip with me.
If you have read my recent posts, then you know that the 3 of them just flew here to Minnesota last Wednesday. My days and nights have been filled with such crazy fun(and work :) since then. My oldest son, who is the only one that doesn't live out of state, has spent much time here with us also, which is a delight because he is usually so darn busy. I have been soaking in their smiles, their laughter, their fun and the wonderful conversations...it's amazing to watch your children grow into these wonderful grown adults...to hear their idea's...to see how they've changed and are blossoming into their own.
I love our open carefree relationships. I love that they too love my husband and that he loves them...that he thinks they are great. I see them standing in front of me and my heart bursts with such joy at being able to hug them and just be with them. Wow. They never cease to amaze me.
When my children come home, the atmosphere in our home changes. They fill our home with such laughter and joy...they add to what is already here but with each of their own special twists. The little people completely adore, love and basically worship each one of them. They have stayed up way past their bedtimes for the past 4 nights. They have played their hearts out together...the sounds of the giggling and playing together is like music to my ears. To say that my children have stepped up to the plate as aunts, uncles or big sisters or brothers, whatever you would like to call them, is an understatement. They are amazing with them. And to watch this, bring such joy to my husband and I, that it brings tears to my eyes, even now, as I write this.
They, more then anyone else know first hand the value of what we are doing, because they know what would be for these little people, if we weren't doing this. They support 100% what we are doing in raising the little people. In doing so, they have shared me and given up time with me. I know it's been hard. I know it's been hard for them not to get angry at their step sister. I know that they have worried about us and been concerned about how doing this could affect my marriage. I know that for my youngest children, who were most affected by this choice, it was not easy in those early months. They seen first hand the struggles that we endured...they seen the tears and the task at hand for what it was.
Taking on raising the little people changed things. It costs money, energy and time to raise them. It's meant that I have not been able to fly out for visits. It's meant that they share me and if you know little people at all, you know they are selfish creatures, that take up a lot of time and energy. It has meant that whenever we are together, the little people are too. Yet, they have done it with such grace and love for me and them. Can you see the beauty in this?
My oldest granddaughter and I have always been close. I used to fly to Florida every year and be with her for her birthday. I used to have lots and lots of one on one time with her. The little people changed all that. While she adores and love the two of them in a very big way and they her...actually I think they worship her...I know it's been hard on her. I know she misses what used to be. And yes, there are times I do too...yet she never ever complains.
Many months ago, when the time frame for summer visits was set up, my husband and I talked about the idea of me doing something, like this road trip, with my children and oldest granddaughter, separate from the little people, to give us time alone. He seen the importance of this and while I have not complained(out loud anyways :)he knows that I have missed time with just my children. See, what an amazing man I'm married to? Only 2 of my children were able to take this much time off of work to take this trip to see their sister, so the only thing better would be that the other 2 and my 2 year old grandson, could have made this trip. On a side note, my youngest daughter and 2 year old grandson will be flying in 2 days after we get back for a whole flippin week!!! Which in the long run works best because he(and his mom) are best buddy's to the little people. In fact if you ask little lady who her best friends are she names both of them. Precious.
Many pieces had to come together in order to do this...finding people to care for the little people while we are gone because my husband works too long of days...taking time off of work, which means lack of income while I am gone...saving up money to actually go...getting myself strong enough to take a trip because of my physical pain...I think you get the picture.
Hence, the pieces have all come together. We worked hard putting them all together and now the day has come...our time has come...and while I am apprehensive about leaving my precious little people for so long, I know my sisters and their husbands will take wonderful care of them and they will have a blast. Both of these couples are like the grandparents, that we don't get to be so I know I have nothing to worry about. The only piece that hasn't come together is my pain levels but I will not let this stop me. What will be, will be, no matter where I am, so I will take each day as it comes.
While I have my little people packed up to go later today, I still have not packed.I do not like packing and it seems like I am always the last one. Our home has been filled with lots of company coming to visit my visitors, so you know what that means...I have been running around with my head cut off, cooking, cleaning and having a good time. We will leave sometime this morning, after I have packed and filled up my little people with too many hugs and kissed.
We will drive the 20 hours, straight through, so if all goes well, I will be hugging my middle daughter tomorrow afternoon. I can hardly wait. I love road trips. Yes, even in pain, I am looking forward to the drive...to just having the time to just sit and talk and listen. I am so looking forward to this time with them in this beautiful place for entire week. I know the time will pass all too quickly. I know that I will soak up every single moment and cherish the beauty of this gift of time with just them.
I am not sure if I will get online or not. It all depends on how busy they keep me and how much "down" time we have. Don't be surprised if I stop by your place a time or two...most likely when I can't sleep at night. As I set out on this journey, I just want to say thank you for stopping by my place so loyally and faithfully...for the love and support you show me in your words, hugs and smiles.
Now that the troops are awake and my home is filled with the craziness that exists when all are awake, it's time for me to pack and love on some little people and a most wonderful man that has given me such a wonderful gift. Have a great week...I know I will be. Hugs and all the love of the universe to each of you!